Who'd be a Brownie Guider?

>>  Monday, February 28, 2011

Notes is asking in theI ♥ Me series this week "Tell us 3 things you have done, 2 truths & 1 lie"

Well I lied surreptitiously though my valentine post, so I should be well practised now.


1) My Brownie Pack Holiday hall had to be evacuated at 2am when it caught on Fire.

2) A Brownie on Pack Holiday projectile vomited across 2 other sleeping brownies in the middle of the night

3) My Brownie Pack Holiday Christmas (theme) Roast Dinner for 25 people had to be cooked in a microwave as the gas bottle on the cooker ran out.


So who'd be a Brownie Guider?!!!

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Teen wall art that won't make you cringe

>>  Sunday, February 27, 2011

When I was a teenager I coverted this picture on my bedroom wall, much to my mother's annoyance
If you were of the opposite sex you probably had this one, again to the annoyance of your mother but the pride of your father.

Maybe your mother would have forgiven you if you'd have chosen this one instead.


I decided to preempt the Michael Jackson poster by filling my daughters walls with something we both like.










PhotoBox are now doing canvas prints that do groovy things to your photos and turns them into pictures.  I've been coverting them for a while.

I tend to only use Photobox for photo prints or mugs as in the past I found their site buggy when trying to edit photos for more complicated things.  A few years on and it is better, but not perfect.

The hardest part of ordering the picture was deciding what photo to choose as there is no preview option.  Mix It Up Photo Art uses real artists to transform how your photo looks so they can't show you in advance, you've got to imagine it for yourself.  They promise a full refund if you’re not completely satisfied which was how I finally decided to just go for it.
It did take a while, jiggling with this and that but I am the most indecisive person in the world ever so my guess is normal people (that's you) would be fine.

My daughter is absolutely made up with the result. A proper canvas picture of her with a deep wooden frame that looks like it was painted on.  I am seriously impressed.

I almost went for the Pop Art look instead of splash, having now seen the quality, I'm going to get one of these as well.

Anything to prevent that Justin Bieber picture going onto those walls!!!!!!!!


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S'not Art - Tate Modern

>>  Saturday, February 26, 2011

Ok, maybe it's not snot but you had to look!

Today I went to the Tate Modern, it was interesting.  There are some fantastic paintings but my word, some artists are not in my ball park (I'm being polite there, a taxi driver said to me:  if it looks like c.r.a.p. and it smells like c.r.a.p they why not call it c.r.a.p).

Do you see the small metal truck at about 8 o'clock, that is a goat, apparently.  Yes, I did say goat.  They obviously ran out of stuffed goats on the day the artist went to buy one but there was a special on in metal trucks and lumps of bronze that look like poo.



We were slightly more impressed by this.  Yes it is a cot, but the cheese wire at the bottom turns it into something quite sinister. I almost liked this.
And then I stumbled across my ironing pile.  Just the way I left it at home, hidden behind the Venus De Milo (not a good copy as it has 2 arms!)  As the taxi driver said.....
And just before you all shoot me for being a philistine, this is one of the most beautiful paintings I have seen.  It was so sharp and struck me almost as much as The Execution of Lady Jane Grey in the National Gallery.
Some art I like and some art appears to be metal trucks and poo shaped.

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Child Murderers

>>  Thursday, February 24, 2011

I shocked myself yesterday with my response when I read this.  Colin Hatch, who murdered a 7 year old boy, was murdered himself in prison. My immediate and gut response:

  "Good"

Ouch, that wasn't very Christian or forgiving of me was it.

He choked Sean Williams to death before dumping him in a bin liner.  He smirked as his sentence was read.  The Guardian reported "Detective Superintendent Duncan Macrae, who led the murder inquiry, called Hatch "a frighteningly cunning criminal who had pulled the wool over the eyes of the authorities and would kill again if he was ever released"."

Well the prisoner who killed him has given up any chance of release he had to prevent that happening.  It will be interesting to see the details of this case come out. 

Today, my response to the news shocked myself and then I had the added thought "I wonder if they could put the same prisoner next to Ian Huntley's cell".  Someone had a damn good go at him once too. 

It makes me put my head in my hands to think about how wrong my feelings about this are and also how very very bad these men are.

And let's not forget little Sarah Payne either.  Don't forget Roy Whiting killed her after he had been released from prison early.

I was listening to a very interesting debate about the death penalty on radio 4 on the way home.  I am always sat on the fence of that one, it all seems quite wrong but what these men have done is utterly beyond the pale.

It makes me angry as hell and always reduces me to tears when I think too hard about it.

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\m/ Expressions \m/

>>  Wednesday, February 23, 2011

This week's Gallery is Expressions.

Getting the right Metal expression is a skill.

Man left : nope, man right : right (but we know he is just about perfect)

So practising from an early age is important



Epica
 If you want to end up like this



Whilst looking at photos of metal heads I stumbled upon this.  Some artists really are quite incredible at catching that emotion with expression aren't they.

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Hare Brained Idiot

>>  Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Notes is asking in the I ♥ Me series this week What could you do today to make your life easier?

I took me a while to realise, well if it was dead obvious I'd have done it years ago, stop having hare brained schemes that end up in disaster.

Do you remember my garden wall fiasco with the most stupid decision ever taken followed by the council involvement?  Well, this time it's the bathroom.

It all started because a radiator stopped working, then another, then another. This led to many parts being changed, followed by the power flush followed by the boiler replacement. But that involves having all your carpets and floors up upstairs so they can feed a new gas pipe whilst I freeze my butt off for 2 days.



And if you're changing the boiler you may as well make it a combi and have your water cylinder taken out, right?!


Which just means that you need the entire bathroom refitting, right?        Well they ran out of time, they went home.  I waited in today, all day, but nobody came, and no date for when they come back. 
 It really is time for me to stop having these stress creating, bank account draining, stupid ideas and just accept that other people have things done in the house.  They discuss them with ease whilst give me a tour of their show home, whereas I simply have hassle and trauma with workmen and everybody will now give me the "didn't you know that" or "didn't you watch rogue traders last week" speech.

So how can I make my life easier today Notes?  Simply roll back the clock and put my old bathroom and broken radiator back because it was much easier than what I have right now.

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Working (Wo)Mum's Pay Equality - I don't think so

>>  Sunday, February 20, 2011

Here's a statistic for you:

Women work 2/3 of the world's working hours but earn only 10% of the world's income(GuidingUK Winter 2010)

Just ponder it for a moment.  It's a statistic that needs a little thinking about for the reality of what it means hits home.

Thinking about the UK only:

If you are a mum with young children, this is how likely you are to be working compared to a man based on the age of your children.  This makes sense.  The detail is here.


Source: Office For National Statistics

But consider this:

Women on average earned 16% less than men, widening to 27% for women aged 40.


Maybe it's because women work part time jobs, the lower end of the pay scale I hear you say? No, look at this:



Source : Economic and Labour Market Review
By the time you are working 90 hours a week, the pay gap is 27%.  Who works 90 hours week?  Doctors, executives, plumbers?  We aren't talking school teaching assistants.

Why should we earn 27% less than our male counterparts?  If we are as well qualified, experienced, committed, then why?

Apparently women don't bargain as well for a higher wage and the industry we are in makes a difference.  IT and the pharmaceutical industries are the worst where the gaps are £17,736 and £14,018 respectively.  I am in IT and I know men I work with that are paid considerably more than me.


I know I could have more at work now than I do, I have turned down opportunity after opportunity.  I give up my overtime and on-call as much as possible to some of the men I work with. They are keen for the money, I am keen to get home to be with my family.

I can see my life in 10 years time, an empty house, no name labels to sew!  Why would I want to sit in an office until midnight and beyond when I want to be there when my daughter goes to bed.  Why would I rush to work to show the boss how keen I am, when I want to talk about the days plans over a sit down breakfast with my daughter before she goes to school.  Very very soon she won't need me.  And I guess my managers know, no matter how many suits I wear, that if the call from school comes I will drop everything and leave.

I believe that is why we are paid less. We cannot ever commit 100% to our careers if we have a family to look after too.

But is that extra focus a man may give worth 27%? 

Hmmm - do you know I'm really not sure, I believe complete commitment, blood letting commitment  to work,  is worth 27%.  But do all men give that, no of course they don't and besides not all working women are mums.

The flexible working legislation has done a lot to help mums back into work but when 'sick child' call comes from school I guess it is the mum that has to answer it much more often than the dad.

Being a working mum is hard, harder than anyone other than a working mum knows.  Often saddled with guilt, half a job done at home, half  commitment at work and discrimination from both employers and SAHMs alike.

It's all going to change in 2057 apparently!  I wonder if you have ever been introduced to Mary Macarthur. She led the Women Chainmakers of Cradley Health in a battle to establish the right to a fair wage.   I am proud of what she fought for and in awe of her great inner strength and tenacity.


I would debate for longer but I've got to juggle school holiday childcare, work packups, a presentation to finish for tomorrow and a mountain of childcare before bed, best run!

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The joy of the Panto, oh yes it is!!

>>  Saturday, February 19, 2011

It's that time of year again, oh yes it is.

Local amateur dramatics abound. We are rather fortunate to have a very good local company who keep us entertained throughout the year, but there is something extra special about the panto:

The shouting (I yelled 'it's behind you' exactly when nobody else did, daughter was mortified!)

The in-gags and double entendres ('I've been turning and tossing all night' spoken by the man dressed as a woman!)
The men dressed as women (the dresses and hats getting bigger and bigger)

The women dressed as men (but always in high heels and no trousers)

The manic chase scene (including spraying the audience with water)

The 'all kids on stage for a song' bit (including spraying the audience with sweets)

The final romance where goodness with always prevail over evil (2 ladies get married but it's ok because the one that is pretending to be a man isn't wearing any trousers and has incredibly toned thighs!!)

ahhhhh the panto, generations of families enjoying the same shows year after year.

And at our local village hall we have local in-gags and wine sold by the bottle that can be drunk during the performance so the strain of the leading lady belting out the broken heart song is broken by clinking of glasses and more giggling at the bad jokes and shouting 'THE OTHER WAY' by the adults than the children. What a fantastic night out!

BOOO HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I love it......OH YES I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BOGOF (or how much washing powder is normal?!)

>>  Friday, February 18, 2011

Continuing my how many is normal theme from Shoes and Bags,

today I cleared out my laundry cupboard.
This is precisely the reason why supermarkets have special offers, value packs, Buy One Get One Free, and 50% off....so idiots like me get mesmerised by the marketing, forget whats in the cupboard and buy more!

There are only 3 of us, it'll take me years to get through this lot.

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The Bloggerty Black Hole

I've always been an 'onliner' from the early days of IRC.  Through different social media twists and turns, I've lived in different online social circles.  I've been blogging since 2005 and always rather enjoyed it. But something has changed.

I read a post by VeryBoredInCatalunya this today.  It is a well written and funny post, go look.  But sadly it hit home very hard.  I think I am becoming that blogging cliche and it was never who I thought I was.  I don't think being a mummy blogger cliche is a bad thing.  I enjoy reading many blogs that fit the mold very well.  My problem is I'm not comfortable in my own skin.

I have enormous respect for the intelligent well written blog like RTFM  and would love to be able to air my economic views without looking like a Daily Mail reader.  Or Bloggertropolis with his clever writing skills that keep me very entertained. 

I like the social, chatty side of blogging.  I feel like I've made some friends.  I am happy with my anecdotal home life, after all HWMBO gives me enough blog material to last forever!  I used to be happy with my musings, but they have taken a sinister side.

The Bloggerty Black Hole is coming from starting to get interested in 'stats', ratings, PR drives.  It's all peripheral stuff that aren't what I really have time for.  The other bucket in my Bloggerty Black Hole is the time I spend reading and commenting on some blogs.  And some blogs are worth spending time on, have you visitied Lori after.  But some of these lives of others are now invading my own.  I am constantly drawn back to my pc, constantly looking, reading, checking.  It is a Black Hole for my time.

It is time to get back to basics I think.  Time to not worry if I'm not Blogger of the month, Princess Tweet or sponsored to within an inch of my sanity.  My sanity is all but lost to the blogosphere and it's time to reign it back in and get back to doing what I should be doing:

Being a mum, being a wife, running a house, successful at my career and enjoying blogging for pleasure.

I am normally a fairly chirpy spark, but unusually for me this has brought me down.  Time to jump off the gravy train and catch the pleasure boat again I think but I'm not quite sure how I break away ...ideas on a comment-card  please.




Oh, I can't be serious for too long...it hurts...as lent is on it's way and the chocolate free long painful days are beckoning, I thought I'd share this one with you. 

Laters.

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With this Naked Gentleman, you are really spoiling us Ambassador.

>>  Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Notes is asking in the I ♥ Me series this week What would you buy yourself for Valentine’s Day?

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, was my first thought.  A self stacking, self emptying dishwasher.





Followed by an automatic vacuum cleaner (They actually sell these)

But then I realised I am letting the girls down by not self indulging sufficiently, so I decided on a naked cleaner Oh yes indeedy you can hire them.  I fancy a few hours of Zacc.  But it bothers me that he may still have a mind of his own and not quite get into all the corners, so I stick by the original perfect man, wind him up and watch him go.




(If anyone recalls me using this picture before, I will leave an update to say, no he's never picked the iron up since!)

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M'Cousin

This weeks Gallery is Togetherness. This immediately made me think of my cousin. I don't have a sister but she made up for it. We spent a lot of time together, I slept many weeks at her house in the school holidays. She was so sisterly..she teased me, played tricks on me, made me cry etc We got into so much trouble together with her parents for what would be these days fairly minor things.   I remember her telling her friends once that I was her mentally disabled sister who had to be sent away to school which was why I was only there in the holidays...nice, thanks E!

We lost touch for a while during our late teens and twenties and she went abroad. Turns out we both got pregnant around the same time and she came back home when our daughters were about 2. So what is it with family, as soon as they met they became the best of friends.


I truly believe that related genes give people a recognisable smell that means they 'relate', some people just smell right.  Do you know what I mean, or is that just me?!

They only get together in the school holidays but as soon as they do it's like they were never apart and they do all the things my cousin and I did.  Like wreck the bathroom carpet, cover the kitchen in flour, the usual stuff!


E and myself used to sit and watch the Donny and Marie show together.  I saw them like this and it all came flooding back to me.  I am so glad to have E back in my life, I guess we will always fall out now and then but she means so much to me, and I am so happy our girls are the same.

 Together, and I suspect, forever.

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7 Valentine(thing)s

>>  Monday, February 14, 2011

I've been tagged by NotSupermum to share 7 things you didn't realise you needed to know about me. The meme demands that I pay NotSupermum a compliment, so I will tell you this is a woman who is completely anonymous to me and yet I know I like her very very much and I would travel to where ever the hell she lives to help her out if I could.  I can also tell you she had the best blog post title ever "My week in Retrospect or My Ex-Husband is a Git"  Oh how I can relate, and how I wish I'd thought of that one!

So sticking with todays loved up theme I have decided to share 7 things all Valentiney with you BUT only one of them is true...you can choose which one:

Many years ago an old boyfriend secretly booked me some time off work, turned up there and took me out for a long romantic afternoon date.

I bought myself a dishwasher as a Valentines present.  Better than a man, it washes the dishes without being asked and it only needs a good seeing to once a year.

A bouquet of flowers arrived by courier at work today when I wasn't there.  I hadn't told HWMBO that I was working from home!

My most romantic Valentines day was spent meandering around Paris and we danced in each others arms in the evening.

I didn't get a Valentines card from anyone other than my mother until I was 23.

My most romantic Valentines day was spent cleaning out a pig shed...you really had to be there to understand how love can blossom in the most unusual circumstances.

I believe my Ozzy bloke's is the most romantic man that walked the earth and ....bwahahahaha no one's going to believe that one...yes I know the stubby had flowers in it dear, I love you too!


Happy Valentines Day peeps.

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Folding Mum (and we're not talking washing!)

>>  Sunday, February 13, 2011

"Mum, it's time we got a new Hamster"
"No, well, errr, I like pets and all that but I'm enjoying running on a Friday rather than cleaning out a cage"
"I'm old enough now, I'll look after it myself."
"Hmmm, I never asked you to be responsible before, I've always committed before."
"I'll commit, I've got the time, and you can pay me to do it."
"So you're asking me to buy you a pet I don't want and then pay you to look after it"
"Yep"
"Nope"

Bugger, I folded again!

At least the cats get 'take out' tonight, saves them the effort of slaving away at a hot 'stalker'!!

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How many bags is normal?

>>  Saturday, February 12, 2011

Having asked y'all how many pairs of shoes is normal?  I decided to clear out my bag cupboard (yes I'm very organised, I have a cupboard for everything!).

I was rather disappointed at my hand bag collection, I thought it was way more self indulgent than that:

Only 26! Although I appear to have a red and black thing going on.

But this really confused me, why can I never find what I want in the cupboard?  It's my backpack fetish..27 backpacks and sports bags..twenty bloody seven!  (and that doesn't include the ones in the camping gear or the sports bags that we are actually using right now).  I can't get rid of any though, you never know when one of that particular size or colour will come in handy!
Think I may need to address the handbag colour skew, time to go hunt out a perfect blue one!  And do you know what, I'll still use the same old green one day in, day out!

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Woman Flu

>>  Friday, February 11, 2011

My guess is the man flu morning thought is "Eurgh I feel lousy, cannot possibly move, must rest, need care"

Yup and so they lie down in front of the TV with a box of tissues and make mild whimpering noises until you pat them on the head and produce lemsip.

So this morning I woke up and thought :

"Eurgh I feel lousy, have to get H ready, wonder if I will get away with a simple plait, head hurts.
No darling, only toast and cereal this morning.  Bones hurt.
Must go to work because we have to go school trouser shopping after school and if I phone in sick someone might see me but I could shuffle hair appointment to another day so I only have to deal with one after work thing.  Feel dizzy.
Must get white wash in this morning because plumber in tomorrow and water will be off.  OMG,  my bones ache."

How do men manage to just turn off life?  If I don't take her trouser shopping, she has to do another week of precariously sewn, could rip any moment, only pair that fits her trousers.  If I don't get shirts washed today they won't be ready for Monday.  If I don't...etc etc etc  My life doesn't seem to have an off button!

Oh well, at least I've thrown in the running towel for a few days, I needed that rest!

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Hair Raising

>>  Thursday, February 10, 2011

The comments on my last post showed that you were interested in how I did my daughters unruly hair, my word she has a lot of it. Once she grew out the baby fluff I had to learn sharpish how to tidy it up. I took a few lessons in plaiting from a friend who is a hairdresser and then I sat her in front of films and practised. Our house rang, and still rings, with the chimes of "ow, ow, don't pull so tight. Muuuuuuuuuum, don't pull, Ow" You get the picture. Have a look at some of the things we do:


Buns, double and single.


Not crimped, just unplaited

Top only loose french plait


Tight french outways pigtails

Juilette Style

Over top plait

From Curlers (done by hairdresser not me!)

Sideways pony tail

Single French Plait

Straightened and top held underneath back

Straightened

French plait top but tied off immediately

I like this one!

Curls Controlled !! (Hairdresser's again not mine)

I have had to pay more for her hair cuts than mine since she was very young.
And sometimes you just get really fed up with mum's taking photos of bloomin' hair
As an aside, just imagine the nightmare nits are with this much hair which is why it was always plaited tight for school, twice she suffered.  But just incase any of you are unfortunate enough to get visitors, I seriously recommend you follow this program.  Follow it to the letter and it works. no chemicals required. 

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