Reporting concerns about a child

I saw the tail end of a funny sort of conversation on social media where someone mentioned that they could hear a child being hit regularly.

I'm not totally anti-smacking and I also understand that every parent will do or say something at some point during their parenting experience that makes them shudder a little later.  If you don't believe me, you are already getting old and forgetful or you haven't raised a teenager yet.  But regularly hitting, regularly hearing it through walls?

It made me think of little Daniel Pelka, it could be another child in another horrific set of circumstances.  But then it could just be a shouty family and the child on balance could be just fine.  How do we know?  We don't.

Daniel Pelka had lots of people around him that could have made a difference but they failed him.  All of them.  Neighbours did call but the social services failed him too.  But don't let that stop us wanting to not let it happen again.

It's easy to talk to the NSPCC, it doesn't have the same pressure as talking to the Police or Social Services.  Here's what they say on their website:

 *******

Reporting to our helpline anonymously

Protect the child you are worried about and stay anonymous when contacting the NSPCC

Many people who want to contact us because they are worried about a child are also worried about sharing their identity.

They may be afraid of retaliation from a suspected abuser or concerned about the impact that making a report may have on their relationship with the child or family concerned.
However you choose to contact us, you don't have to tell us who you are, but it can help the child.
Because we act as a 'go between' with you and agencies like the police or social services, we need to make sure that they have all information they need to act on your concerns.
But we also want you to feel safe in making a report. You do not have to tell us who you are, but if you do, you can ask us not to pass on your details.
Many people have said that knowing they can talk to us anonymously has encouraged them to get in touch, and we believe it has helped us protect more children.

********

Did you know that in 2012/13, almost 51,000 people contacted the NSPCC.  The most common concern remains child neglect.  52% of contacts to the NSPCC’s helpline resulted in a referral to children’s services and/or the police. 

You can't sit and hope someone else will do it and save you the bother.  That someone else is thinking you'll be doing it instead of them. 

There are many different ways to contact the NSPCC: phone, text, email, online. 

Their number is 0808 800 5000.

*I wrote this before the sad death of 3 year old Mikaeel Kular became this week's news.

Read more...

A day trip to Symi

This week's Gallery is Rewind.  I'm going to rewind back to the summer.

We stayed on Rhodes during the summer. Whilst it's a big island with lots to see and do, we decided to take the opportunity to have a day trip to Symi.

We booked a Thomas Cook day trip that had a coach stop at our hotel and then straight onto the port in Rhodes town.  Actually, parking down at the port looked easy and free but sometimes it's just easier to let someone else take the strain.  At the port there were lots and lots of people all trying to work out which guide they needed for which trip and where the tickets were etc but it all seemed to just 'happen' and we got on board our ship.  Initially we sat outside, but in the heat and the salty wind it wasn't so great once we were out of the harbour.  Inside the ship was a comfy lounge with big windows, good coffee and lovely air conditioning.

It took a few hours to get to Symi but you can see plenty of shoreline along the way including Turkey.  It's a gorgeous place of Italian influence with a very different feel to Rhodes' Middle Ages English.

As the boats emptied and more and more tourists poured into the hot streets, the scooter engines were loud, the cars were loud, the guides from many tour groups shouting, it became quite unbearable.  We listened to our guide for a while, but he was saying nothing I hadn't read already.

We let the crowds go do what crowds do...

...and we left them behind and walked up a never ending empty stair way into the 'living' town.

I was totally 'had' by a woman giving away free water half way up the hill and ended up havng to give her €5 to get away.

It was a long climb but there were cafes for a coffee at the level we gave up trying to walk up any further.  It was at least quiet.

We headed back down the hill into the bustle and had a cheap and cheerful gyros.

A wander around the shops

And then a sit in an empty bar waiting for the boat.  I have no idea why there was one totally empty bar except it looked like a small pub from about 1930 rather than a flash cafe.  But it was cheap, clean and had plenty of seats!

The boat went around the island to the Panormitis Monastry.

A lovely Monastry.

Whilst these places do give out cover ups, it's worth remembering to wear a knee length skirt or shorts and have a scarf to cover your shoulders with and then you don't have to queue to borrow a wrap.

We had a brief wander around but it was about 40C in the sun, so we headed back to the boat.

At which point HWMBO realised he'd lost his boarding card and the ship crew were refusing to let him board.

Needless to say I was fuming with him, angry with the boat crew.  It was quite clear we were a family on a tour and COG and I had our cards.

I had no idea how he would get back, he was angry with me for being angry with him and it rather put a downer on the whole proceedings.

Once the crew had finished enjoying our marital shouting match, they gave up and let him board.    I have to say, I met a number of Greek people on our holiday who seemed to rather enjoyed putting tourists into difficult circumstances. It did not endear me to them.

It is though, a beautiful country.

Read more...

Cobra Knot Paracord Woggles

These woggles are surprisingly easy to make with clear concise instructions.

I made the first one with dark cord but decided a lighter one would look better, so I ordered some more cord.

I'm not giving you those instructions, watch the Scouter in the YouTube clip below. His instructions made it easy even for me.

 The Scouter uses a manly lighter and army knife to burn and cut the cord...










I used a Tealight and sewing scissors and had a nice cup of tea on the go whilst I worked.

I was never destined for the Scouting life!

The woggles are built up in 2 layers.  The first layer alone would be enough for a rainbow or brownie woggle or even a braclet craft.

I bought my cord from www.thebushcraftstore.co.uk I was surprised at how cheap it was and it came very quickly.

The lengths for the cords given in the instructions are:

Inner cord: 14 inches

Layer 1: 40 inches
Layer 2: 2 x 26 inches

Watch these instructions, I reckon this guy is a great leader.

Read more...

Crapola

I've been having numerous difficult things happen around my life at the moment.  None of them are really suitable for open to all sharing.

Some of it will involve new tenants and not managing to get all the money I am owed.
Some of it will involve an inadvertent switch of a reward card with a member of my family on a shopping trip that resulted in them spending all our carefully saved for a weekend away points on their christmas shopping "oooh, I thought I'd got a lot of points quickly" they said. Garrrrrr.
Some of it may involve still having large holes in my floors and ceilings from our prechristmas leak and the unavailabilty of anyone to fix them.
Some of it will involve the uncertainty of where we might or might not be going on holiday this year.
Some of it will involve a handover of Guiding matters that isn't getting handed over and some of it will involve a handover of Guiding matters that did get handed over because of my inability to say no to people.
Some of it will involve my frustration at some people taking full advantage of the fact that I find it difficult to say no and they know it.

Oh and work is pretty rubbish right now too and a lot of that will be down to the fact that I have an awful lot of 'some of its' going on, so my head is already really full of crapola.

I spotted this marriage proposal on t'internet.   No-one told me it was there, it wasn't a facebook meme - I just stumbled on it whilst looking at something else. This made me happy.

I'm a simple person when it comes to 'make me happy'.  All I need is a bunch of daffodils, to find something interesting on my own occasionally and slightly less crapola in my life.

Read more...

Heart Shaped Face

This week's Gallery is 'Something Beautiful'

Cog has always been photogenic, I think it's her heart shaped face and deep dark eyes.

But this picture takes it to the edge, it's on the wall in her music room.  We went to a studio for a shoot.  The photographer was quite incredible with her.  We umed and arred at the showing about the cost of buying this picture. But it was so very worth it.  She's a beauty.  (Just remember,  the apple never falls far from the tree!!!!)

 

Oh go on then, I'll throw in a gratuitous beautiful kitten shot too.  My little Dory.  She also has a heart shaped face.    See the size of her paw?  My word, she has grown into a huge cat. 

Read more...

Being a Parent made me a better Guider

Originally, I think I was a fairly poor Brownie Guider.  I didn't understand the structure of the association and I didn't know what support was really available to me.  I had been an assistant Leader in 2 different units with Guiders in Charge that were my own age.  They were daughters of Guiders, so I guess their mums helped them.  When I was about 21 I found myself alone running a unit.

I think I was fairly rubbish.  I relied a lot on book work. I expected the brownies to be able to read and write, I gave them quizes and anagrams.  We played games and sang songs week after week. 

Finally another Leader's daughter came to my rescue, she was only 18 but again had the support of her mum.  We started to do badge work, went on pack holidays again and joined in with revels (different units joining together for a day). 

I found the travelling to the old unit got harder and I moved to a local Brownie unit where the leaders were parents of young children and the Guider in Charge was very experienced. She had been a Guide Guider, a District Commissioner and run a Ranger unit in her time.  She took me along to district meetings and Guide camps, she had me organising parts of trips and residentials.  I suddenly started to understand the structure, the program, the resources. Even though I had been a leader for 10 years already! 

But I still didn't understand that those cocky 10 year old girls still cuddled up to mum at the end of a day, that those 7 year olds couldn't all read the books, that the 5 year old Rainbows do care about what they wear, that the argumentative pains of the Guides are the ones that need patience and a sense of humour.  That the parents might seem like numskulls or over protective, but I had no empathy about why.

Then I had Cog.

Of course, I've only had her, I don't understand all the other girls on the earth, but she has helped me to learn so much more about so many things I just didn't have any understanding of at all. 

I don't think all Leaders need to be parents to understand what it took parenting to teach me.  I think I was a slow developer, and late to the party (but I've partied fairly hard for a further 15 years so far - so I forgive myself!).  But I didn't have younger siblings, or work in child care, or have remarkable memories from my own childhood to fall back on.

In my Ranger Unit now the 2 leaders are one parent and one not.  I think it makes for a good balance.  There is understanding and drive.

I asked other Guiders whether they thought being a parent makes for a better Guider.


"I have no children but have a lot of experience working with them. I don't believe that being a parent therefore makes you a better leader, it's all about experience whether that's with your own or other people's children. I think everyone looks at things differently but sometimes it helps to have an unbiased view of those without children of unit age in the same way that sometimes it's useful to have the view of parents."

"I'm 19 and have no children...I work in a school as a T.A (with children age 5-11) and know what is trendy and what is not with the kids at that moment. I also have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. I don't think I look at things differently to anyone who has children. From a young age I have been brought up around other children, I have done babysitting and as I said now work in a school and have done for nearly 3 years. People think because I am a younger leaders that I don't understand the girls. I don't listen to them. My Brownies have a great relationship with me and like the fact that I know what they like and dislike and that I can relate to them a bit better because I'm a bit younger."

"I was a leader before kids and had lots more time and energy. Was a leader after kids and appreciated more what they can and cannot do at each stage. We too have a leader without kids and we make a good balance. I don't think with or without makes you a better leader."

"I am definitely a better leader for having kiddies - for me personally it has made me realise the need to keep the girls better occupied, and it has made me better at keeping the girls in check when they're being rowdy! I think that has a lot to do with confidence more than anything, because if you can handle having children, you can handle anything!!"

"I became a Guider over 30 years ago. Not knowing if I would be come a parent or not. I feel that over the years I have understood guides to the best of my ability. Something I still do to this day
Not been able to have children of my own, I have dedicated my life to guiding."

 

 

That last lady left me in awe, imagine dedicating your life to other people's Guide age girls!  Wow.  And she's still standing!!

 

I like to think I am a better leader now, but I'll always be assistant material.  I find the responsibiliy zaps my brain power, it stops me being able to paper wrap corks or tie 30 bow wings.  We each have something to bring to the party and the colourful rainbow of all the different types of leaders we are mixes together to make us a beautiful blue.

 

Read more...

Choosing the wrong path

 It was a cold, wet, grey day but in the spirit of the new years health kit we headed off for a walk.

Which ironically meant I gave up my run. But hey-ho, she won't be around forever and whilst she is, wanting to actually go out for a walk like this is a rare treat.

But it was a desolate day.

With a rare path that had any shelter from the cold wind.

 It's so important to choose the right path.

 Pick the wrong one and you can expect to get a bit bogged down.

 With a hard slog ahead.

The sheep aren't daft, they know to stay on the high ground to avoid trench foot.

We clearly aren't so clever.

Read more...

New Core Muscles Post Back Surgery

Before my back injury I was the fittest I'd been since I was a teenager. In fact the amount of weight training I was doing was probably partly responsible for the injury. 

Since my last MRI I have gained some confidence back, the consultant told me that I'm not at any more risk than anyone else from injury.  It is safe to be training.  I do still suffer from back pain and mild sciatica, although I have cancelled my root block injection that was due this week, I just don't think my current level of pain warrants it. But I'm still not prepared to risk weights and crunches yet.

But I am wondering if it's time to move to another level of self help.  Strong core muscles are good for bad backs.  One school of thought is that weak muscles can actually lead to back pain, so maybe I'm now stuck in a vicious cycle.  Good core muscles do lead to better posture and the wii fit tells me that my posture is positively rubbish.

So it's time to motivate myself into doing something about it.  I've started to use my slendertone belt again.  It's a pain, literally, but it does help me to stand up straighter so I know it's doing something to those muscles in there but it's not enough alone.  I'm doing the 30 day plank challenge, which is a challenge. Once that starts to get me somewhere I'll add a second 30 day challenge of some sort.  If you've got one you know about leave it in the comments for me.  I need a challenge, I can't just do home stretches and reps daily, it's a bore chore and I end up just not doing it.

I'm still running, well I call it running, a real runner would call it a short distance jog.  But it's running compared to 30 minutes in front of Eastenders.  I'm back to 5k in 30 minutes but I don't want to go any faster, I think the load on my knees and back is too much.  Walking is the best exercise there is, walking up hill, but it takes time I just don't have and in the winter it's also a bore as I can't get out into the fields.
 


 Here is my before picture for you.  It's time to tighten that core.



















I'm a remarkably impatient person when it comes to this sort of thing, so here is my after photo.

Haven't I done well?!  No, it's not photo-shopped.  They are taken within minutes of each other, so let that be a warning to you when you are looking at your Facebook side bar sales pitches.

It does show what difference a good posture makes, and if I want that posture to be there naturally without a suck it in effort then I guess I'm going to have to work for it.





I'm looking fit enough on the outside but it's time to sort the inside out too.

I need a new core.





This week's gallery theme is 'new'.

Read more...

On the road to nowhere

I went out for a lovely walk just before Christmas to get away from the rush and crowds.

I needed a bit of quiet time.

The car developed a flat tyre whilst it was waiting for me to return.

I in turn abandoned it, leaving it far down the road.

And marched on up the hill in search of the main road and a lift home from a passing ex-husband.


I was humming "we're on the road to nowhere" as I strode along.

And spotted this on the way.  The path to nowhere, or at least the path to being cut to shreds trying to get onto it.

Anyhoo, 1 ex-husband rescuing me, 1 current husband fixing the car and 2 new tyres later and I'm ready to try to follow that path at some point.  As soon as these fields become less like a clay skating rink.

Read more...

Totally inappropriate and the Chief Guide

This quarter's copy of Guiding magazine fell on my door mat over Christmas.  And my Senior Section unit were in it.  It was the photo taken with the Chief Guide at Wellies and Wristbands.

I don't normally show the girls in pictures on here but I had to share this.

Can you see how awkward Cog looks?

You see, Wellies and Wristbands was pitched as a 'festival' event.  I understood that to mean casual clothing was the way to go.  More Glastonbury than Guide.

"Wear your Penguin shirt" I said to Cog "It'll save me having to buy you a new one".  Sounds harmless doesn't it.

I just checked Amazon, the t-shirt is described as "On the front of this tee is an iconic print of numerous penguins on top of one ice cube saying Bollocks, its obviously comical design is one that will have your friends smiling every time they see you".

Friends!  It says friends!  Not "The Chief Guide"!  Hashtag 'fail'. Bollocks!

Cog covered over the t-shirt and moaned at me afterwards.  Now, I like to think that our Chief Guide is fully au fait with this very versatile word, but I also like to think she would not use it readily, which is why I will never be Chief Guide. That may not be the only reason, the list could be endless. 

KV Wellies and Wristbands 2013

So I have learnt that when CHQ chirpily say 'festival style' they don't mean the full Glastonbury effect, the 'I'm just a f*cking ray of sunshine' t-shirt should not get a place in the backpack.

And Cog has learnt that whilst her mother will always buy her wholly inappropriate t-shirts, she has to decide when it is appropriate to wear them.
She also knows that her mother will never be a wallflower trying to melt into the background.

Wellies and Wristbands 2014 is open for bookings.  I totally recommend it for all Guide units.   For Senior Section units I recommend you have a look at my post before you make a decision, but it could be right up your street too.

Read more...

Time to update your side bar or reading list?

My blog has evolved over many years.  It started in 2005 as a personal diary of my wedding, moved into Kelloggsville in 2009, grew a KelloggsDBA limb and for a while I have been sat somewhere between Kelloggsville and AGuidingLife.

So here we are 9 years and over 1500 posts later.

Now I've no idea what I am to be called.  I start to think it's time to not be Kelloggsville anymore, it's a silly name, I become KV across the internet to wean myself off it and like you are all my mother, you all call me Kelloggsville anyway!  So I gave up and changed myself back.

"How does this affect us?" I hear you cry "We love reading your inane chatter no matter what you are called"

Oh bless, you for saying so!

I have played with my blog a lot over the years, I love a good fiddle!  I have inadvertently deleted my followers more than once. I've changed it's name regularly, and I did it again recently.  I have a feeling I changed my name once and I fell off your sidebars!  I think it's all badly related to Google Friends Connect and the number of times I've fiddled with anything that could be fiddled with.

Do you know the plumber with leaky taps and the electrician with bare wires hanging out?  Just picture my blog that way.

Anyhoo, if you rely on your reading list to tell you when I've written something then you may find that you too now need to fiddle. 

If I'm not in your sidebar or regular reading list then....helloooooo, are you nuts?!  Do you know what you could be missing?!

If you use BlogLovin, I'm in there, click the button over on the right of my full fat site.

You can subscribe to my email feed if that floats your boat.

Hell, if you want I'll call you up and just talk away at you, I'm not proud.

But all the same, it does give me a sense of belonging and self fulfillment if I see my blog in a side bar occasionally or on someone's regular reading list, so if you wouldn't mind re-adding me as my googleplus personage or just as www.aguidinglife.co.uk I'd really appreciate it.

 

 

Read more...

Goings on

There is no Gallery this week, but I thought I'd give you a brief picture rundown:

The man at work that has supplied me with about 10 cups of tea a day for 15 years left this month.  This is the last cup he made me.  I am not ashamed to admit, I'm struggling without him.

Every time I get new fish, one disappears.  Every single time.  I buy 5 fish, the next day there are 4.  I buy 4 fish the next day there are 3.  I have no idea how fish just disappear.  I just can't imagine where they go.  In other news, my little cat has stopped going to the neighbour's house for her dinner, I'm pleased she's decided the food I give her now suits her palette.

I have retired from Brownies (again).  The Senior Section Guider in charge of my Ranger unit will be very busy this year doing other things and I have to give my time to the Rangers.  So most odd then that I have sat covering corks in paper tape to be transformed into owls by the brownies.  Seriously I am incapable of not being a brownie leader.  Only a coffin will get me away!

I finally managed to beat Cog at a game of ten pin bowling.  A first for many years.  In fairness,  she has wrist issues again and could only bowl left handed, so she only managed 3 strikes each game!  She is so ambidextrous.  She also has a foot problem which despite having been to the hospital twice now and had an x-ray appears to be undiagnosable.  GSCE PE is taking a toll on her.  She is not the only one like this in her class either.




I also managed to pull back a few games of table tennis whilst she is in pain.  Yes I know it's wrong to be quite so happy to beat your child whilst they have an injury.  Competitive me?! Never!

The Australian played with a quiet calm confidence.  Presumably this has been aided by the cricket.  The Ashes is an unspoken evil in our house right now, it has left us both tired and one of us extremely grumpy.

I don't live near a large expanse of water.

These fields are usually full of sheep.

There's been a bit of rain this way too just recently.

Read more...