It's not fair...resign

What is going on with the world: every time something doesn't quite sit right, the masses (or media) seem to shout RESIGN.


If I happened to be the chairman of BT, I would expect to have broadband regardless of where I lived, I would expect it to be a perk of the job!


Now being the generous sort of lass I am, I would also have tried to put a bit of pressure on to get it in my local community, but lets face it this bloke is unlikely to be living in the centre of a housing estate with Uncle Tom Cobley. So maybe he has concentrated on getting broadband for Uncle Tom Cobley rather than Hooray Henry. In fact Hambleden on google maps seems to show a higher than average ownership of swimming pools and tennis courts.


Lovely quote from Gary Ashworth, who lives in Hambleden "If I was a BT shareholder I'd be upset... I think one can live with it, if it's a level playing field it's not a problem."


My answer is "Mate, if I were a BT shareholder I would be upset if they were investing in cabling up little villages in the sticks where the average inhabitant has enough dosh to buy his way into several other options. One must see that life is rarely a level playing field."

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Forced Independence

Today I did something I wouldn't normally do, and I did it yesterday too:

I went out and left my daughter in alone. I needed to go the shops, she was moaning about coming, understandably today as she had just spent an hour riding in the rain and it was still pouring down outside! I was gone for about 20 minutes.

She's just old enough to be alone for a while I think, she knows about keeping the door locked etc etc But I only did it because my husband is away; normally only one of us would pop out.

I used to have a friend who went out to work before her fairly young daughter left the house for school and I had wondered about whether it was the right thing to do or not but twice last week I was packing my daughter out rather too early so I could scramble for the motorway.

Is it a bad thing that being a working mum means that my daughter is left to do a very slow walk to school so as not to be too early, or that I regularly shut the office door when work call and leave her to her own devices in the house and ask her to make me a cup of tea whilst she's at it?!

Is it a bad thing that she is being forced to learn independence earlier than I would like? My sensitivity to it is heightened at the moment because I am alone.

In fact I wonder whether it is too early at all and whether I'm just worrying that my baby it growing up? It's ok she's just asked if I will read her a story!!!! She's not quite ready to leave home yet!!

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Credit Madness

I am a sucker for the air miles/points/money off offers and I end up with a purse full of store cards and credit cards I never use.

I decided to cancel them all. I had an interesting conversation with MBNA:

"I want to cancel my BT credit card please."

"No I never use it, it has no balance on it, no I have no balance I want to transfer to it"

"Please stop trying to sell me things, my mind is made up, I just want to cancel"

At this point the man said:

"did you know credit is harder to come by these days, you may struggle in the future to get a new card"

I pointed out that I have another MBNA card that I wasn't cancelling. That way I would have just one card.

"do you want to transfer this credit limit to that one?"

"Sorry I thought you said credit is harder to come by these days?! Did you really just offer to double the credit limit on my other card?!!!!!"

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Running on Empty

I am used to my husband going away for work or sometimes fun . It is usually for 2 or 3 days and always within Europe. He did once disappear into some woods in Sweden for 4 days without a mobile (team building apparently!) but that was an exception.

I have always joked about how I catch up on myself whilst he is away and I can make hay whilst the sun shines.

But now he has gone home for a couple of weeks, a sick relative has made the visit short notice and means he has had to go alone.

I feel absolutely empty. I never imagined it could feel so bad. The massive timezone difference doesn't help. Knowing his mother's joy at me not being there is playing on my mind too.

I have this strange feeling that I can only describe as "after the party is over", can't quite put my finger on it but I know it hurts really bad.

Think it's time to stop joking about clean sheets and stand up and say "I miss you my love x"

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Persil Mighty Revolting

This morning was a bit hectic, I was doing too many things at once. Somewhere between pouring washing liquid in the washing machine, buttering toast, and pouring milk I got confused and managed to intake Persil Mighty Bio.

It couldn't have been that much of it, the bad taste stopped me instantly (as you would expect) but my, does it make your mouth burn. 2 cups of tea failed to take the taste or the burning sensation away but I had to drive to the airport so no time really to bother about what I had done.

As the day has progressed my stomach has got more and more sore, I'm guessing it must be very clean in there by now and I'm starting to wonder if perhaps the 'seek medical advice' labels on these types of products actually aren't to be ignored!

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Tom & Jerry

I was cleaning out the hamster cage, so Colin was having a run around in his ball. I looked up for a moment straight into the kitten's eyes - she had Colin by the scruff of his neck between her teeth.


In fairness she looked just as shocked as him, I think the big cat normally catches and kills the rodents and the kitten simply plays with the dead bodies. This time Colin was still squirming around and she just didn't know what to do.


I squealed, went over and took the hamster out of her mouth and put him back into the ball.


He really is asking for it though - he immediately headed straight for her toy stash!

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Marriage : A Long Journey

A previous post was about an article in a pamphlet* about Secrets of Family Success. I really liked the clarity of this statement too:

Imagine that you have embarked on a long journey by car. It is inevitable that
you will encounter problems along the way, including severe weather, traffic
jams and road blocks. On occasion, you may even get lost. What will you do?
Turn around and go back or find away to overcome the obstacle and move forward?
On the day of your wedding you embarked on a journey that was sure to bring its
share of problems. The question is not whether problems will arise but how you
will face them when they do.

I liked this, it is so easy in marriage to say "That's it I had enough, I'm out of here". On a car journey how often do you say "3 red lights in a row, that's it I'm going home, I'll try in a different car another day"!

*Awake, October 2009

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20 years

Today I received my 20 year bar. That's the silver one on my badge tab.
I am so immensely proud of this. 20 years of giving to girls, giving my time, my energy, my holiday, even my sanity sometimes! I have run Brownie units, assisted with Brownies, Guides and Rainbows, done training, been trained, cooked endless meals on years of Pack Holidays, had no sleep on sleepovers, manned stands, tea tables and craft tables at so many different events - I have given so much to earn this badge

BUT

for all that giving I have received more than you possibly imagine. The smiles from the girls, the reward of watching girls grow and mature and helping them to fulfill their incredible potential. Guiding feels like a family to me. A family of friends, love and support. There is so much that I can do if I want to and it's ok to do only a little if that's all I can give at the time.

No matter where I go in the world, I know I can walk into Guiding HQ and say "Do you want some help?" and I will have a place, a purpose and a group of friends at the drop of a hat.

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Autumn Leaves

I have a lot of trees in my garden. This photo is only one corner of it, besides the full grown walnut, there is an oak and a twisted willow out of view.

At this time of year much of the garden regularly looks like this.

'He who must be obeyed' goes out regularly and vacs up the leaves. 2 things bother me :

a) How he can look so pleased post vacuum this weekend when the number of leaves to come down is still a larger balance than those cleared away so far.

b) His comment "Now you won't have as many to do when I'm not here next weekend". This definitely implies an expectation that I would vac leaves.

Not before every last one has fallen I wouldn't! Nope not me.

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Guidus Vomitus

What is it with children and vomiting?

You may remember my midnight projectile vomiting brownie and the aftermath cleanup from Pack Holiday this year.

I suffer from incurable "sure, I'll helpoutus", so I've just got back from my first Guide sleepover. Things I have learnt:

Guides sure aren't sweet little Brownies!

Guides don't fall asleep when absolutely exhausted - the Guiders are just so damned tired they sleep through the noise!

Guides vomit harder, bigger, further!

Mopping up other people's kids sick in the middle of the night doesn't get any easier because I'm getting used to it!

Guides sure are good fun so despite the Guidus Vomitus episode I hope to be invited back!!

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Conversation I had with my Husband tonight

"Have we upgraded the travel insurance to world wide" said he who must be obeyed

"I don't know dear have you upgraded it? You are asking because of your up and coming trip, right?"

"Well, have we upgraded it?"

"Is that the Royal "we" coming into play dear?"

"We are supposed to be a partnership"

"The travel insurance is always worldwide dear and the washing needs a fold'n pard'ner"

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This, my dear, is what you call an Adventure!

I love the Richard Templar books.

My favourite is rules of life.

Rule 50 - "If you can't say anything nice don't say it at all" recounts a story:

"I remember reading once of someone who was on the Metro in Paris during a major strike. It was chaos and people were shoving and pushing and it was pretty horrendous. There was a woman with a small child there and it could have been quite scary. She bent down to the child and said quite brightly "This, my dear, is what they call an adventure". "

I just love this. What a fantastic way to look at life.

When my daughter looks frightened or nervous I will ask her if she has butterflies and then say "that's good, that adrenaline will help you to do it well". I'm not sure it always works, she seems to have a 'sensitive' streak much like her mum, but I love the thought that something difficult is a challenge to face. That sense of breathing in deep, the few seconds of "I can do this" and then doing it are second to none for me.

I would have loved to have met that lady on the Metro.

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Carnival of Parties : Halloween (2010!)

I love to do Halloween Parties - mainly becausee I disagree with random Trick-or-Treating - so my Halloween ideas - all tried and trusted are:

Have a set of pre-agreed ‘trusted houses’ that your children may knock on the doors of, check with the owners (your friends or neighbours) that they are happy for this to happen. Agree a route with your children between these houses and walk with them in a supervisory capacity if appropriate. It can be fun for the owners too if they decorate their doors in advance.

Hold a “walking party” with a group of friends. The children start at one of their houses where they do one activity. They then walk onto the next house (accompanied by parent 1) where they do another activity. Parent 2 walks them to friend’s house 3 and so it carries on until they are all returned home or picked up. This way each parent only has to sort out one thing and the children aren’t at one house for a long time.

Decorate your own house up and have a spooky sleepover. Arrange for a garden sweet hunt at the house of the other child. This means that they can walk down the road dressed up but there is no need to treat or treat.

Ideas for games and activities include:

Decorate Treat bags (plain brown paper bags make a great base)

Organise snacks (decorated cakes, spooky sweets in jelly, even sliced

carrots/peppers– call them ghouls fingers!)

Apple bobbing

Garden Sweet Hunt

Make ghosts out of carrier bags (bunch up part, tie round with string and shape the body with the rest of the bag)

Blind Jelly (blind fold children and they feed each other jelly – newspaper on floor and aprons required)

Pre fill surgical gloves with mixed water and food colouring and freeze. Have a garden hand hunt.

One year I manage to acquire a manequin which I broke up and hid around the garden too! With spooky sounds cd playing on the recorder in the garden and the girls in there by torch light only - you should have heard the screams when they found the head!!!!

Decorate biscuits with icing made from icing sugar mixed with a few drops of either black or orange food colouring, a little lemon juice and water.

Pin the wart on the witch (draw a picture of a witch, blind fold the child and stick bluetac onto picture)

Mummy Wrap – use one mum, and lots of toilet roll!

Balloon races (between legs or chins or simply sit on the balloon to pop it!)

Make Ghoulish Smores - melt marshmallows over tealights and squish between biscuits - yum!

Happy Halloween!

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A Girls Wage

There has been an ongoing disagreement between 2 people in my husbands family for about 50 years, today I found out part of the reason. One lady said to the other "your husband earns a girls wage".

Put into context of 1950's rural Australia it is an understandable insult but to hang onto it for 50 years! It made me chuckle:

"Fancy that!" I commented to Hubby "Something so insignificant lasting all these years."
"I would be really offended if someone said I earned a girl's wage"
"'cuse me!!!!!!!!!!"

I believe I burst into a lecture about managers like him double-glazing the glass ceiling that women are fighting to break. Which may have tarred him with a unfair brush - as he is usually fairly cool about such things! But I was on a roll and he knows it's best just to let me lecture it out than prolong the agony.

But I wonder if you have ever been introduced to Mary Macarthur. I read about her recently and I was so proud of what she fought for and in awe of her great inner strength and tenacity. She led the Women Chainmakers of Cradley Health in a battle to establish the right to a fair wage. This victory laid the foundation stone for our national minimum wage.

But as far as hubby is concerned I suspect it will be 'His round' for the foreseeable future, as I couldn't possibly afford to pay - merely earning a girls wage!!

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This time I'll get it right

I read an article in a pamphlet* about Secrets of Family Success this part struck me as very interesting:

Studies reveal that second marriages have a higher failure rate than first ones,
and third mrriages fare even worse. In his book, Emotional Infidelity, M.
Gary Neuman points out one reason for this. "If you have difficulties in your first marriage, " he writes, "it's not all about your poor choice of a spouse. It's about
you. You fell in love with this person. You worked with this person
to create whatever you have or don't have." Neuman's conclusion?
"It's better to get rid of the problem and keep your spouse than to get rid of
your spouse and keep the problem."

I am torn by this I really like the thought of getting rid of the problem not the spouse and I think that may work if it is a marriage where there is a foundation of love or at least respect.

But he makes a massive assumption that you loved your spouse to begin with - what if you were young and just wanted to get away from home, didn't know how you really felt or had an arranged marriage in which you were unable to connect with your partner?

And also, what if your spouse truly is the problem - what if he is a violent drunk that puts you and your children at risk daily, what if he is a complete and utter....oh you know what I mean!

I am on my second marriage - I definitely work at it harder than I did my first, I didn't even know you had to work at a marriage during my first. I learnt that after it was over.

But I do like his sentiment - even if it does have a bit of rose coloured spectacles about it

*Awake, October 2009

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See, all the nagging is good for you dear!

Interesting article on Being single 'worse than smoking'


The quote : "It makes perfect sense to ask how a ring of gold can possibly do this.
But the honest answer is, that we don't know." is just plain daft, any wife knows exactly how it works:



"are you planning on drinking that, how many have you had already?"

"don't you eat Indian takeaway in the living room whilst I'm out - it makes it smell"

"if you plan on smoking you can you outside, yes it is raining, OUTSIDE"

"well if you are going outside, you might as well take the dog out"

"I need to lose weight, so I've thrown out all your snacks"

"I need to lose weight, so WE are going on an exercise plan"

"you haven't got time to sit and watch TV, there's a list of jobs to do"

"The lawn needs mowing"

"The leaves need sweeping"



A man on his own (without those nags) could have drank as much as he wanted, eaten take-away, smoked in his arm chair, sat and watched the tv and generally couched potatoed. (so how many married men just sighed a wishful sigh?!) but the point is ...


the married man had his drinking curtailed, his smoking made difficult, a decent diet, and even lawn mowing counts as exercise and an extra few years added to his life.


Train of thought....would the few extra years be worth having if you felt thoroughly nagged and downtrodden ...probably not!!!


It's all about balance - positive=4 negative=1, I reckon 1 in 5 is the key. There must be 4 good things for every bad thing in any part of life and it all still seems rosy.


And all good wives also know the best way to give 4 good things regularly *wink*

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