A Guiding Life

>> Sunday, April 29, 2012

No I'm not talking about my expanding waistline (although with the complete lack of exercise I expect to look more Marilyn Munroe than Posh Spice soon).

I'm talking about my little Rainbow, the teeny Brownie.

She came on Pack Holiday as a leader. When did she suddenly grow up? And she's got the Guider bug, because she loved it and wants to do more.

Although she's not too old to play...

... to be honest, most Guiders never are!

>> Saturday, April 28, 2012

I didn't sleep over on Pack Holiday this year.

Some of it was about not having to take extra kit (bedding, clothes) for myself, less to carry. Some of it was about not being out of a 'bend with care' routine when tired, or getting stiffer on a different bed, or even just not having handy no bend shelves at the right height in the shower. And another part was about allowing other leaders the opportunity to have the full experience (you can thank me later ladies!).

I was worried that I would miss my morning tranquillity. I love that time early in the morning with a cup of tea, watching the world wake up, seeing the bunnies, pheasants, horses, cows, birds. Listening to the brownies stirring and then padding through to get to the toilets, all wrapped up in fluffy gowns, with bed head and half asleep.

I wanted to be there to help cook breakfast anyway so I got up early and drove back to camp. I saw (and avoided) a dozen or more rabbits, stopped for 2 pheasants who appeared to own the road and would not move for love nor horn hooting. And then 2 little deer popped out by the side of the road and watched me drive past.

And bless those little deer because I found my happy place again and with sheer contentment I arrived at an already alive hut with wide awake girls. I donned the apron and delivered eggy bread for 23!

Later, I stood and looked out of the window, watching a buzzard circling the woods whilst I had a cup of tea, a short moment in the manicness for a little serenity. And those 10 minutes of repose will fill me for weeks.

The Page Turner - Creative Thinking

>> Friday, April 27, 2012

I promise (fingers crossed behind my back) that this is the last in this run of videos, love how creative and clever they are and I'm in awe at the patience and skill of the people that set them up.

OkGo - how to inspire musicians to get creative.

>> Thursday, April 26, 2012

Sticking for one more day with the 'action' theme, this is quite awesome to watch. If only you could bottle the vision and enthusiasm people like this have imagine what the world could achieve.

The secret to children sleeping at sleepovers

>> Wednesday, April 25, 2012

This week's Gallery theme is Action. How lucky was I that it was our Brownie Pack Holiday weekend. Pack Holiday is generally non stop action, including much of the night. But leaders need their sleep, even if little Brownies think we don't. We have found the perfect answer to a good nights sleep:

It starts by telling them that it is a race.

That there are points to be won.

That it's ok if they get very very dirty.

And don't forget to place one answer to the quiz in every corner of the field.

Aaaaand Brownies sleep for 8 solid hours!

Guiders do not require the additional activities to do the same, the go-karting, climbing wall and night hike was more than enough for them!

These 3 all bent over to adjust the go-kart seats at exactly the same time, syncronized seat adjusting!

And before you ask, I did none of them, I was very good and simply supervised, it's a difficult job but somebody has to do it!

Dumt & Farligt - incredible and incredibly stupid

>> Monday, April 23, 2012

I wanted to share this with you.
But do yourself a big favour and watch it full screen on youtube, it made my widescreen hd monitor feel worth it tonight:

These Danes are both clever and crazy

Why you should teach children to eat with manners

>> Sunday, April 22, 2012

We are on Brownie Pack holiday this weekend (please don't ask how my back is going to stand up to it, I've no idea) and knowing what I was about to face set me thinking about table manners.

I'm going back to my 'I've done a lot of residentials' with children again. This means we spend a lot of time eating together. On Brownie Pack holiday we purposely move the seating at meals around a lot so there is experience of mixing with different leaders, children, conversation etc. Meals are a great time to come together and talk, we learn conversation skills, sharing, trying new things, it's a nice time to be together.

Unless it involves the lip smacking, mouth wide open, talking with mouth full, spitting food child. I have a particular intolerance for this (which I will blog about independently) but I have heard the most gentle, tolerant leaders say 'do not sit me with X again, I really can't face it'.

Children need to learn when it is appropriate to finger eat and when not to. I'm not getting posh here but if the sausage has been floating in a plate of beans it should be picked up with a fork, if sausage was on a dry plate then fingers can probably be gotten away with!

It is possible to teach them not to breath so heavily into a cup whilst gulping juice that they sound like Darth Vader with sinus. And the 'AHHHH' after every swallow isn't a necessity.

Napkins are for wiping lips on, even mopping up spills, not for blowing noses on then putting back on the table.

'Please could you pass me the .....' is the way to the jam jar, not reaching across the table dipping a sleeve in someone else's dinner.

I know this sounds like a grumpy rant but I'm not talking silver service, I'm talking basic knife and fork, mouth closed, no slurping manners. So many children can do it, why are there as many that can't?

Teaching 'appropriateness' of behaviour in a particular place matters. Yes at home they may be allowed to have a burp the alphabet competition but not if Grandma is visiting (she hates losing at it).

If you teach them this they can move between social situations and basic appropriate manners but you have to invest time into it as parents. Social boundaries (and kindness) prevent me from asking them to stop slurping, although I have been known to send them off for a nose blow and hand wash!

So hey, it's only a pack holiday does it really matter? No not really but these types of behaviours learnt when young become habitual. Your child's business prospects will be hampered if they can't apply social manners, how about the first meal at the in-laws or celebrity snaps in 'Hello'(!)

Manners matter and they are learnt from us.

(and I promise to try harder to put my own glass house into order too!)

My Beautiful Home

>> Saturday, April 21, 2012

Things always look lovelier in the sunshine (or snow) I took these pictures in the few days that summer appeared to visit the UK a while back.

This shore line reminds me so much of Western Australia, and yet it's a mile from my house.

A truely English landscape

Almost (!) blistering sun

How lucky am I?

Microdiscectomy Recovery Week 10 back to work

>> Friday, April 20, 2012

This week I have worked from home for 4 days. I'm an Oracle DBA (work with computers) so it's all sitting. At home I have my kneeling chair which keeps me shifting position and creates a very different body angle to a normal office chair. I have been asking my employer for a chair like this at work for some time.

The first 3 days of work were fine and I did quite long days (8 or 9 hours) with plenty of getting up and down. I haven't walked at all outside and walked only 2km on the treadmill one evening. Treadmill walking is hard going. It seems to take longer to get any distance and it's so boring.

Thursday my back was so sore I had to go for a lie down for 20 minutes at one point, but this helped and I still managed a full days work and stood through our brownie night in the evening. I did cancel a visit to a music recital at the local church though knowing that adding one more thing to a painful day could break the camel's back - literally.

I have thrown my toys a bit at home though, the bed is unchanged and unmade, the bin is not emptied and the pile for the recycling bins grows daily. I leave pots next to the dishwasher and shirts are not ironed. I expect he will notice by Christmas

My employers have become less flexible and have said if driving is my main issue they will pay for a taxi to and from work for the period of my 'limited mobility' note from the doctor. So today I had a taxi to work and an assessment from Occupational Health. They now understand about the chair and also the general problems I would have as a can't 'do' heavy security turnstiles, heavy old fashioned fire doors and the like. They sent me home and said I can carry on working from home until the chair comes and then they will reassess. I am seriously hoping my recovery will have caught up with where I was at before the week 7 reherniation scare and I'll be driving ok and my back will be a little stronger by then anyway.

It felt good to go back into the office, except for the pain and that's where the problem is mainly, I am ready to take my life back now but my body hasn't quite caught up yet.

So the usual medical round up is: less butt ache but increased muscle spasms around that area. Sore lower side of leg that increases to calf pain after being sat or even on kneeling chair for too long (45 minutes). Lower back dull ache. Sharp pains middle back. Icing is keeping on top of it, as is general rest. I've noticed that since I've stopped walking so much I'm actually weaker all over and lifting things has become a little harder, I tried to carry about 2kg around the local co-op on Wednesday and it was hard work and made my back hurt a lot.

I would like to start walking again, a little further, maybe, when the weather picks up again I'll also be more ready to do it. Fingers crossed.

Unfortunately this weekend is Brownie Pack holiday and we are already our main leader down. I'm not sleeping over which will make it easier on my back in terms of not having to carry bedding, go in and out of a holdall for stuff, badly set up showers (for bad backs!) etc but it does mean a bit of driving for 3 days. I'm not cooking - no way I could do that very hard job on PH. I just must not 'do' stuff, I must just 'be there' but it's not really my nature so it's going to be hard.

Still, I have Monday as holiday from work to rest it out again.

Why children should be very very dirty

>> Thursday, April 19, 2012

I told you that the most promising kids I see are the ones that aren't molly coddled, the ones that are taught common sense, that are given a bit of rope and they know how to tie it (or at least try to whip their mates with it)!

Bear Grylls (yes I know he's Scouting but occassionally I let the boys in too, man I love those Scouters in uniform on a mixed camp - hot,hot,hot!) has teamed up with Persil on getting kids back outside. He's put together the top ten things kids should do before they are ten.

But do you need telling that if you take the electronic away from the child for a day they quickly go back to the type of play we will remember from our childhood.

A swing doesn't need to be fancy, a friend in Switzerland has a very strong length of material tied up under her open stairs that her girls sit and twizzle in, very clever.

Learning about stinging nettles and mud over your boots when jumping the brook is a day of learning and fun never to be forgotten.

It's amazing how much fun (and fitness) they will find with a pile of leaves

Mud, mud, glorious mud, it's a child magnet - get them making mud pies with mud and leaves and stirring sticks or perfume pots with petals and muddy water. You only need to give them an empty plastic pot and watch them go wild!

No doubt Bear would get his rope out for a den, nah, just give them a sheet, a few blankets, the garden chairs, a picnic lunch, all the toys they can muster and you won't see them for a whole day.

Enid Blyton still isn't far wrong, even our 'sophisticated' kids of today want to explore, get outside and get dirty!

You set the boundaries, keep it safe but don't tell them you have control, just let them go where their imagination takes them.

If you are lucky enough to live near a big hill to roll down - go for it but it only takes a small back yard to turn mud pie making whilst sat in an old upside down cardboard box the greatest adventure of the weekend.

And clothes (and kids) wash - but I grant you, the clothes argue less and will probably come up slightly cleaner than the kids !

Persil are giving 70 mud-loving kids (plus one friend each) the chance to win the ultimate day’s adventure with survival expert Bear Grylls. Building campfires, exploring nature trails, learning outdoor survival skills. You just need the code from the pack of Persil.

I have to tell you that Persil gave me a bottle of my favourite washing liquid and a den making kit ( a huge sheet and some pegs !) to tell you something that I would have told you about anyway - isn't life great sometimes - go on roll in some mud - you know you want to!

Rapeseed misery begins

>> Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Back in January I mentioned that the fields appeared to have rapeseed in them. I was wrong. It was charlock. Charlock is a weed that belongs to the brassica family the same as rapeseed but it's just a pain in the derriere for arable farmers. The fact that it was flowering in January was still a bit out of season, but hey-ho.

But this in the field today is definitely Rapeseed (brassica napus).

It is an insect pollinated plant rather than wind so it's not likely to be the pollen that causes my nose to stream.

Apparently it's the volatile oils that cause my intense headaches. Today there was just a promise in the air of what is to come!

I took this on the 22nd April last year. Around here there will be acres and acres of bright yellow fields, beautiful to see but gosh, I'm always glad when it finally gets harvested.

3 strikes and he's out

>> Sunday, April 15, 2012

This year HWMBO forgot our wedding anniversary. I sort of knew he had. In fairness he was in Australia the week before, he had been ill whilst he was away and still had health concerns when he got back.

But if I knew I was going somewhere and it was our anniversary as I was getting back, I would buy a card (and a bloody diamond ring) before I went. I even tried the "gosh, it's our anniversary just after you get back" ploy and then I had wondered if his mother would mention it to him whilst he was away (she'd probably rather try not to remember!).

I simply left his card at his breakfast place and waited for the penny to drop. The flowers arrived in the middle of the afternoon and lovely they were too but as ungrateful as it sounds a quick 'get me out of this hole' call to interflora doesn't quite cut the mustard for me in terms of thoughtful deeds.

I didn't gripe, I wasn't overly bothered, it just seems the way really for some men that are too lazy to think about things that aren't top of their priority list (I bet he remembers the date of W.O.A every year).

But then something happened, I received a comment on a blog post I had written last year. One I had forgotten, the one in which I explained why I was so hurt that HWMBO had forgotten our Wedding Anniversary. Yes, that's how forgiving I am, I'd forgotten he'd forgotten two bloody years running.

Well o'dearly beloved, let me make myself absolutely clear, the rule is 3 strikes and you are out....out of pocket by one huge measure in a way a call to interflora could never ever satisfy. There is an entire year in which he can plan something that adds up to 3 years worth of luuuurvin.

I shall be taking odds closer to the time on whether he remembers, but I'm already thinking I will be a flogging a dead horse. Should any of the metal mates be reading, any chance you could poke him in the ribs about the time of the Monsters of Rock Cruise, thank you muchly.

I remembered why I blog

>> Friday, April 13, 2012

I little while back I was feeling a bit disillusioned by the blogger awards and I've watched a few blogger circle in fights that left me wondering why I am here.

I like reading your blogs, I get a great pleasure from the bonds that form with people, I love the diary of sorts, the emptying of my mind but mainly I like messing around with the code.

Yes, my template has changed get again! It gives me an opportunity to play around with photos, fiddle with html, think about colours, readability, a bit of java (very little!). Backups, downloads, uploads, fiddle, fiddle some more, backup, try this, look at that, how does another site do it, do I want to do that, can I do that.

When I'm doing that I don't give a monkey's about the readership, the audience, the stats, the ranking, the anything else really. I just like tinkering. It's like a motorbike stripped down on the kitchen table.

I've got 8 blogs and most of them are private and in general states of disrepair, I mostly don't think about them at all but sometimes I just get the need to stop writing, roll up my sleeves and get the spanner and oil rag out.

If you don't like the new look I'm more than happy for you to tell me why, it'll give me something to work on.

Microdiscectomy Recovery Week 9

Well after the reherniation scare and being told to rest, which I understood to mean 'take a break from walking', I actually did do. After the first week I got quite lazy anyway and this was aided by the cold wet weather we have had.

I have been back to the consultant again and he had the usual total lack of understanding. He said he is happy with my mobility but I am expecting too much too soon and that I have unrealistic expectations of my body and the healing process. I pressed him hard about timescales to feel fixed and he said at least nine months. He pressed home the point about years ago this operation meant staying in hospital for at least 2 weeks and whilst medical procedures mean we can go home sooner, bodies don't heal any quicker. I wish he'd said all these things at the beginning.

He did say I am healing in the typical manner of most of his patients, everything is normal and to take it easy on myself. He said no swimming, cycling (well that's lucky as both were never on my to do list) or long walking for 2 months and then to go back and see him. He also said no physio.

Seriously! If I can't get out and walk I'll go mental.

I have worked from home this week but my employers aren't overly happy as my doctors note says 'fit to work' and my correct location of work is the office. So I've been back to the GP today and he has given me a 'fit to work with adaptions note', I'll see if that helps. The GP also said he would prefer to see me going to a physio but won't go against the consultants advise and we must wait, but he did say I can walk, I said I like to go about 5k and he still didn't see an issue and told me to listen to my body. He recognised that I need it for my mental health.

The kneeling chair that was requested still hasn't arrived at the office and the thought of driving for 40 minutes rush hour, dealing with heavy turn styles, fire doors, being expected to sit in meetings, bend over desks to talk to people and sit in a normal office chair for a day is quite frightening. Working from home I can control my physical load but still turn out the work.

As an update to where the pain is at: my back pain has dulled off considerably, it now feels like I been sweeping or gardening for a day but my leg is still feeling the pain. My calf particularly. I've even had a read back through my old posts to see where I think my current feelings compare and I think I'm about back to where I was at week 4 post op.

Sometimes I have a very strange sensation in my back that makes me feel quite sick, I've had it since the first herniation over 9 months ago now. I find it very hard to explain but I hate the feeling, it's not pain really, it's just a very weird feeling of being able to feel something deep inside.

I can really understand how people end up on long term sick or on benefits with 'a bad back'. People like that always have the fingers pointed at them as benefit cheats but seriously you have to walk in that man's shoes for a while.

I also think the longer this goes on the less people around me want to know or help. I feel like it's 'yeah, you're in pain, we know'.

So I'm constantly up and down to the washing machine, cooking, bending to cupboards, cleaning up, ironing and then having to say 'would some one empty the bin', 'I need to get in the garage freezer' and other things that I have just completely given up hope of them ever happening ever again like wiping the 6 inches of dust off the treadmill. This is not the 'resting' the consultant envisaged I'm sure.

Anyway back to medicals, my sore stomach from the meds seems to have eased up a bit, my back is stiff and lower right side sore. Doing anything for extended periods (longer than 45 minutes) brings strong pain to my calf and then my butt and there is persistent tingly pain in the lower side of my leg.

It's all tolerable if I control what I am doing but as soon as I try to 'live life' the pain racks up and I'm reminded yet again that I must take care. I hope my employers will be patient for just a while longer.

I have created a page of links for my Microdiscectomy posts and other links I have found helpful. You can find it here. PLEASE FOLLOW THE MEDICAL ADVICE OF YOUR DOCTOR. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.

Taking it seriously

>> Wednesday, April 11, 2012

This week's gallery theme is Easter.

This week I really want to show you that I can work with light seriously and that Easter is about more than chocolate.

This was taken by HWMBO, it was chosen to be part of an exhibition.

This was taken by both of us, using a torch and slow exposure.

And this one is mine. I'm rather proud of it.

Holding children back with kindness

>> Monday, April 09, 2012

Did you know many of you as parents, good parents, doing the best you can parents, are holding your children back? How? You do too much for them.

I go on a lot of residential trips with young children through Guiding and with the Church. I see a lot of kids aged 7-18 in environments they aren't used to, away from their parents, having to work stuff out for themselves. After one day I will tell you which children come from homes where the parents do the thinking for their children and those where the children are challenged to do it for themselves.

Young children are used to being spoon fed and this creates a natural mental laziness. When you ask them to do something and they automatically say 'how/where/why?' how do you respond?

Do you do it for them? Because it's quicker, easier, less frustrating. You are teaching them how to avoid a problem by creating barriers.

Do you tell them how to do it? So if they ever meet that situation again they'll be able to do it themselves. That's good right? Well it's not bad, but children seem to box that lesson off and can't apply it to a similar circumstance.

Do you answer with a question? 'How do you think you could do it?' said in the right tone opens their minds to problem solving. Now you teach them to tackle life head on, you open a world of opportunity for them. As they start to answer their own questions, they gain confidence in their ability to self seek answers.

You can teach your child the gift of common sense. Turning a "can you get a knife?" conversation from

"where are the knifes?"
"next to the forks that you just got out"

Into "are the knives with the forks?" and even "I've put the knives out too"

I'll let you into a bit of leader psyche, the children that have that common sense tend to be the ones that get the little extras, the ones that get to toss the pancake, crack the eggs etc. Why? Because, like you, when we are under pressure, sometimes it's easier than trying to teach the child that constantly needs guidance. Of course we spend time developing those children too, but in harder circumstances it isn't always possible and those with common sense when there are bigger stakes tend to get first dibs.

Something else worth noting is that disadvantaged kids, those from 'less caring' homes or from care homes, have common sense in spades and they are often the kids that get the greatest benefit from these residentials because they can already do the thinking without difficulty and they relish the praise and acknowledgement as we recognise it. Children that aren't frightened to think for themselves tend to get more out of the experiences we offer them, they can push the experience further and reap more rewards.

The children that can problem solve also tend to be the children that learn confidence in their ability faster too. They will be the ones that move faster from 'can I do this?' to 'wow, can I do it again'.

I think teaching problem solving starts young, tell toddlers to put their own shoes on, watch them struggle, encourage, guide but try not to 'do'. Respond to questions with questions. 'where do you think it will be?', 'how might you do it?', 'will it pull?', 'Can you push it?'. Even questions like 'where shall I put this?' can be answered saying 'where do we normally put it?' not 'in the bottom cupboard'.

Do your kids a great favour, stop doing their thinking for them and teach them how to do it themselves. It'll give them a headstart. They will reap the benefits and rewards and so will you.

Stand out in the crowd

>> Sunday, April 08, 2012

Soooo it's Easter. Will you be joining the minority and worshipping the most important event in the Christian calendar or will you be treating it like a normal Bank Holiday and joining these masses:

Here is what really matters today:

Jesus taught us love, humility and understanding matter.

Like the people in Walmart (I hope I'm forgiven for this analogy) Jesus also stood out in the crowd, he didn't fit in, he stood up for what he knew to be right, not what would make him popular.

Standing up and saying "I believe" these days is hard, I believe that love, humility and understanding will make us all much happier.

Even if you aren't throwing yourself into organised religion this Easter take the message with you and stop to think WWJD occasionally - just think what we could all achieve if we truly cared about each other.

Be blessed all.

If Jesus had Twitter and Bloody Watership Down

>> Saturday, April 07, 2012

Just incase you've forgotten tonight is rather important, here's how it would have ran in your twitter stream: But let's not forget the bunny

Middle Class Parental Snobbery

>> Thursday, April 05, 2012

Whilst at Centre Parcs, the capital of the Middle Class, I noticed that every family not in the process of a domestic watches the proceedings of another's domestic with high handed glee. They appear to forget that it will be their turn next to be the victims of Teen Angst, Toddler Tiredness or Spouse Sulk.

I watched all 3 of those things happening around me, taking comfort in the feeling that I don't stand alone in having an imperfect family. I heard ...

"don't give me that look",
"turn off the attitude"
"if you are happy tell your face"
"you are lazy"
"stop being selfish"

..from many mouths other than my own.

I was very aware of being watched by a table of smug adults laughing as HWMBO got annoyed yet again with COG's attitude. They smiled at their own teen angels like they never threw a wobbler. I was planning to stalk them for a while but they appeared to want to do more than sit in one place. Stalking from a chair with one eye on a book just doesn't work!

Jamais Vu

>> Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Peace, peace, peace, paece, paece, peice,peice,piece,piece

Do you get that thing where if you look at a word (that any child could spell) for long enough it looks wrong and you end up looking up in a dictionary?!

Jamais Vu describes this feeling perfectly, although experts like to call it orthographic incredulity.

Peace and piece are homophones.

Language is a complicated thing and poor communication can lead to dreadful misunderstandings.

Here are pieces of the me that finds the most peace in my life and usually in the loudest of situations.

Please note my Guideresque method of creating the pieces too, Girls in the Lead can achieve anything even without a photoshop plug-in.

Go and see the Gallery for more entries with this week's theme Peace.

Blogging - what's the point.

>> Sunday, April 01, 2012

I don't enjoy this (award) time of year in blogging. Some blogs I enjoy reading become trumpet blowing 'pick mes' or self congratulatory. It suddenly all starts to feel a little less genuine, tainted.

I don't really know why I do it anymore. It's not for money. I recently read an article on how to make more money from your blog, how to engage the appropriate people and really thought 'MEH'. It's nice to see your name on a list of 'popular'. I guess we all want to be popular but if I was sensible I would write a post entitled "the intellect behind successful bloggers, 10 easy steps to blogging stardom" not "what's the ~~bloody~~ point". I'm always likely to shoot myself in the foot on that one.

I sometimes feel like I have made friends but then those people who I invest emotional attachment into simply disappear. (I'm missing Jennifer in America, I'm missing Kathryn in Italy.) These are people that I would help out if I could, offer my home or support and yet with one swift stopus blogus there is a feeling of loss. And that feeling of loss underpins the reality of the evanescent nature of the relationships formed online.

I get satisfaction out of stats, I like to see the graph rising month after month and the numbers go up and up. "oooooh" goes the needy me ! But it doesn't really drive me on, it's a bit like a chocolate pudding at the end of meal. Sometimes it feels good but the feeling is short lived and not the be-all of the meal.

I used to feel like it was good to get the thoughts out somewhere because it stopped them floating around in my head and filling it.

....

Actually I feel loads better now I've said all that out loud. So maybe that is the point. Thanks!

I think what I'm trying to say is :

I hate awards, back patting and lists, they unsettle me, they make me question whether I'm doing the right thing. And the people whose blogs I read, the people who I talk to on twitter, I consider you friends not 'hits'. I value your opinions and support not 'comment counts'.

I think what I'm trying to say is :

"So, it has come to this"