I'm having the time of my life

I'm going to be busy for a few weeks and I think blogging is going to be hard, especially from a tent surrounded by 5000 Guides and Scouts. So I'm leaving you with a message about Guiding and what it means to me.

This video is entirely made up of my own photos so please take the time to have a look.


There are 500,000 girls in GuidingUK and 80,000 volunteers. But there are 48,000 girls on waiting lists.

If you would like to have as much fun as me and get some of these girls off a list and into the fun too, then why not join our 12 hour challenge.

PS If your child is on a waiting list, volunteering to help out may get them in and you'll get to have as much fun as them.

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Faster than fairies, faster than witches

I love train journeys, I will go somewhere just for the fun of the train journey and the station.

St Pancras is always worth a visit.

Guess which commuter didn't enjoy the trip as much as me!

Faster than fairies, faster than witches,
Bridges and houses, hedges and ditches;
And charging along like troops in a battle,
All through the meadows the horses and cattle:
All of the sights of the hill and the plain 
Fly as thick as driving rain;
And ever again, in the wink of an eye,
Painted stations whistle by.




Here is a child who clambers and scrambles,
All by himself and gathering brambles;
Here is a tramp who stands and gazes;
And there is the green for stringing the daisies!
Here is a cart run away in the road
Lumping along with man and load;
And here is a mill and there is a river:
Each a glimpse and gone for ever!

 Robert Louis Stevenson

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Running Lucky

On a late summer's evening I can't imagine living anywhere else as beautiful as this.

 Running through this is glorious.

The fields are golden and go on for miles, the sky feels so big, swallows swooping high.  The rabbits seem to have no fear and flick their tails at me when I'm within a few feet of them.  Even a badger ran across my path, I've never been so close to one before.

There is now a damp chill in the air as the sun is going down, it already feels like the end of summer is near, but it is so beautiful.  Perfect.

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Bitter by Design

I want to talk to the person that designed this coffee machine. 

Note how the cup is placed central to the place specially marked for the cup.  Note how the nozzles the coffee comes out of is not above the cup. Note how I cannot put the cup under the nozzles because of the raised metal made to get me to put the cup in the correct place.

How hard was it for the designer to make the coffee actually hit the cup?  It's not like it's a multi-tasking machine.  It only has to get coffee into a cup.

There are so many one task machines that seem to fail to do the one thing they are designed to do.  But this one to me really takes the biscuit.  I would take the biscuit if I had coffee in my cup to dip my biscuit into.  Guess how much I need my coffee on a Monday morning to be this upset about an offset cup?!! But I'm not bitter!

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Tolerance

I used to think I was a tolerant person.

I have no racial issues (except for the French but isn't that normal).

I have full tolerance of all religions, I believe in one god/maker and think that we have all found different ways of showing that.

I tend to live and let live.  I have to, it's my key skill to say exactly the wrong thing (particularly on Facebook) so I have to live and let live in the hope that others will cut me the same slack!

But I was wrong, I am only long distance tolerant.  When it comes to actually practising tolerance at home I am failing.  You would think that I as I believe we are all one, I could manage 2 weeks with the mother-in-law.

Mentally I have thrown in the towel, I didn't even bother to get dressed on Saturday until 1pm.  She said a number of times 'how nice to see her actually relaxing, good on her'.  All comments tend to be in the 3rd person, never spoken to me directly, even when in the room (it's a bizarre thing to experience).  But the truth is I wasn't relaxing.  My mind was so full of stress, of comments, of how to do the right thing, that I had just hit a complete state of 'I really can't be bothered'.

The night before, I had paid a lot of money for her, my mother and aunt to go to the local open air theatre with a 3 course pre-theatre meal included in their night out.  MIL tends not to eat more than once a day so I mentioned that she might want to save her eating for that night, as I had paid a lot of money for it.

"WHO, WHO, WHO has PAID" she shot at me.  I shrug unable to give a rounded polite answer, HWMBO interjects "we have mum"...she calms down.  My guess is she is happy with the thought that he has a hand in it.

On returning late that night, I asked how it all was.  "lovely night" she replied "But I wouldn't bother eating there again, dreadful, wouldn't bother it all".  She of course threw a gushing thank you in later.  But the thoughtlessness of the first comment had already blown it for me.  I am unable to get over it. You see, no tolerance.

I feel like a bad person, if I was good this awkward situation wouldn't exist. 


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

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How to impress your Mother-in-Law

Well, the best quote of the week was:

"isn't she an awful woman"
errr hello, I'm still in the room.

There is no useful context, it seemed to come totally out of thin air, almost like she was thinking out loud! So I'm still not making the best impression.

I found a website, 7 ways to Impress your Mother-In-Law:

1) Ask for a recipe
      I'm guessing it will involve a lettuce leaf but I'll give it a go

2) Keep a tidy house
            Well with 2 of us off to Jamboree in a week, there are piles of stuff mounting, but it's clean stuff!

3) Admire Her
             Oooook, I'll try to find something before she leaves.  My admiration tends to be based around personality not weightlessness so I'm struggling here.

4) Ask to see Photos
             Well the last photos she brought over included the ones of him and exs, not very subtle.

5) Invite her over
              Well, at least I passed this one.

6) Ask her Advice
             I'm stumped, truly stumped.

7) Treat her son well
               I'm doing ok as a wifey.  He has no idea where the cleaning products are kept, has only a vague awareness of the iron and cooker and generally spends his weekends with the AFL and beer.  I feel he's not overly hard done to!!  Problem is he puts on a remarkable show of 'can do' when MIL is around, mainly to cheer me up I think but I'm guessing it doesn't pay off well in my 'impress her' stakes!!!

Any wise words of advice anyone would like to add to help me score brownie points next week?

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Funerals and Children

It's a strange time between death and the funeral, it's almost like the end hasn't quite been reached.  It might be a dream, there is still a glimmer of the life that was.  The funeral really does close the door hard shut.  It hurts.

At what age do you think it is right to introduce a child to a funeral?

I have taken my daughter to the funeral today, a relative close enough for her to relate to, but not too close.

I think it is good to introduce her to the whole process before she has to attend one of significance to her.

I wonder if it may be better to shield children from these realities if it is not necessary? But I think experience of things we all have to do in life is important.

She is now 12.  I am sure that it is time, she will be fine.  I hope I am right.

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Pick an Era, any Era

This weeks Gallery is Vintage.

What is vintage?

It's neither young, nor old.

It's obviously not 'now', but could be, if the 'now' is made to look like 'then'.

So this photo, of my Grandmother, is old but if I dressed to look like her I would simply be vintage!  I guess that's sorted my wardrobe choices from here on in!

This video is created using an App called 8mm HD. I've been having great fun with it. It reminded me of the Wonder Years.



Here is our local tourist attraction in the 1920s:



And the 1960s:



Amazing how the locals all look the same, must be inbreeding!

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Mega Sour

 I bought some raspberry flavoured MegaSours at the weekend.

They are truly the most sour thing I have ever tasted.

HWMBOs reaction

Mine

Daughter was braving it...

but even she, who eats lemons wihout flinching, couldn't stand these!

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The Eagle has landed

My mind is always buzzing with bits to share, especially when I am running. I have posts going round and round in my head but now it is empty. Nothing. Nada. I have been stripped of all my thoughts, my confidence, myself.

The main reason is this:




This very much describes my mood:



and how I relate:



Please bare with me, normal service will be resumed shortly.

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Arrogant Asshole Driving Award goes too ....

Whilst I generally run across fields, I have to run a couple of kilometres on the streets and roads between home and complete country sanity.  I have been noticing a common theme that is proving itself in test after test.

I am running along a path and want to cross a junction and there is a car about to turn right, I like it when they allow me to go across without breaking my pace.  Effectively they give way to the pedestrian/runner.  I don't expect it, but it is really cool if they do because I don't have to alter my stride or stop.  At the end of a long run that is a god send.

There is a common rule for those that will and those that won't:

Boy racers of course never would give way, it wouldn't end enter their selfish heads, but that's a given.  This isn't about them.

Small car up to 1200 (smart car etc) rarely give way regardless of sex or size of driver, I assume the elastic band will snap if they stop for too long.

Medium car up to 1600 (Astra, Focus, Civic etc) will tend to give way if a man is driving,  woman may possibly give way if she is over weight and not wearing massive amounts of make up (I am sooo serious).

Pick up truck (usually male driven by workmen where I live) give way most of the time unless driver is wearing sunglasses and truck looks like it has never been off road in it's life.

Top end car: male driver, over weight will give way 9 times out of 10.  Fit bloke never.  Fit women never.  50 plus women (probably on way home from golf club) never.

Are you seeing the pattern yet?

The rule of thumb is the more money they have and the better looking they are the less likely they are to let me cross first. The more unfit looking and less ostentatious the car the more understanding and friendly they are.

This rule also tends to apply to the amount of space they leave when driving around me when I road run, it is becoming so incredibly reliable I am finding it scary.

But do you want to know who wins the Arrogant Asshole Driving Award?  Who is the person most likely to have me jumping into a hedge to avoid being run over or manically jogging on the spot whilst waiting to cross the road:

Top end 4x4 or Jag driving fit woman with sunglasses, perfect hair and a sun kissed tan. What makes the women with perfect nails so unaware of me?

Having parked on the zigzags outside of the local primary school before driving onto the gym, she lurks the village lanes waiting to force runner and cyclist alike into the ditch and completely ignoring them at junctions.

I assume she is the precise reason this parking was invented.

I'm going to have a high vis printed up  'slow down, give wide berth, unpredicable runners may kick out'

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I would walk 232,500 miles

Well fly them actually, this weeks Gallery is travel.

I just roughly calculated that since 2000 we have flown 232,500 miles as a family.

This doesn't include HWMBO's business miles.

We don't go away a lot, we just go a long way each time!  Even Daughter has been to Australia 6 times and holidays in places like Cyprus (from the UK) or Alice (from Perth) soon add up extra miles.

We have become dab hands at finding clean spots with no people to sit out the hours of delays.

 

Sleeping with boarding cards in hand.

There are times when we get a little fed up.

Or even a lot fed up!

But mainly we try to enjoy it

And my gloriously happy daughter, always seems to rally up a smile.

No matter how tiring it gets.

 

I wonder where she gets it from!

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It's not fair, it's not dark either

When someone strikes up 'it's not fair' in our house, HWMBO always replies 'it's not dark either', he tells me it belongs to John Elliot. It's about challenging the 'it's not fair' statement to a different dimension, teaching us that life isn't fair and that's the way it is.

How was your weekend?  I got a new dress in the sale, nice isn't it.  I watched a wealth of middle class shop whilst supping on inferior Le Petit Four Français iced latte because Costa had run out of ice.

I was rather put out that our favourite local restaurant was fully booked and I didn't get to go out in my new dress. 

On the other hand, I didn't have to leave my starving child alone in the desert to die, nor watch my family suffer.

 
Is it acceptable to say life isn't fair?
 
£6 billion, yes billion, pounds will be spent on ice-cream in Europe this year.
 
Donate to DEC.

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You're Weird

"Honey, now you have made so many new friends at high school why don't you invite some of them home, I'd like to meet them."

"No thanks"

"Why?  I'll lay on something special like a party or pitch the big tent."

"I'd rather them not come here"

"What? Why?"

"Well...errrr.. you're weird"

"Yes honey, but I promise I'll behave"

"Errr,  no, it's ok, I don't want them to come thanks"

"ohhh" looking glum

"It's ok that you're weird mum, I just don't want my friends to know"

"Thanks for that love"

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The Mother In Law Cometh

In 9 days my Mother-In-Law is coming to visit for a while.  We have a love-hate relationship, well without the love bit really.  So I expect it's going to be the usual barrel of laughs.

I have decided to prepare cue cards with all the answers to the stock questions I get:

Yes, I probably have gained a little weight since we last met.

No I don't know when he last had his prostate checked, could you ask him yourself?

Yes, I am going to eat that.

Yes, I am hungry again, we have a habit of eating more than once a day here.

Yes, we are still happy, no signs of divorce yet, sorry.

Actually, I've never used the last one yet, but the rest are all pretty much par for the course.  So one of the few things that will see me through it all is my daughter's relationship with her.  Daughter has none of the resentful background to stand in her way of simple pleasures of being with a Grandparent.  They do get on.  So I started sifting through photos trying to find one that showed the togetherness and this is the best I managed:

Then I remembered this photo.  It's a different Grandma and it says everything about their relationship together.

Children gain so much from the Grandparents. It is always a relationship worth nurturing.

If you want to see how other people feel about Grandparents, go visit the Gallery.

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Child Terrorists

I have read these 2 news reports in short space of each other and it sickens me.

Pakistani schoolgirl 'kidnapped for suicide attack' : A nine-year-old girl in Pakistan has said that she was taken and forced to wear an explosive vest in what police say was a planned militant attack.

Afghanistan: Eight-year-old girl 'used in attack' :An eight-year-old girl has been killed after insurgents used her in a bomb attack on police in southern Afghanistan, the government has said.


Can you imagine the faith of the little 8 year old girl as she was told that 'it would be ok', as she skipped happily up to the police, not knowing that she was about to be exploded into pieces.

If I asked my Brownies to put back packs on, if I smiled at them and told them it would be OK.  If I said it in the right tone, they would.  What sort of sick minded person does this to a child?


What do you think your 8 year old should be walking off in the distance to do?  Go and have an exciting adventure with friends or to die?

This makes me as angry as I feel about Child Murderers.

But perhaps it is better to have misled the child who died, who did not know she was about to be used as a walking bomb than for the children living as Child Soldiers.

My child has no idea how lucky she is, no idea at all. 

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It could have been Sydney

It was the local festival this weekend.  It's all free, bands in the park, fireworks, friends, fun.

Our small corner of England for a very short space of time was just like Sydney Harbour in glorious technicolour.  (Yes, without the water, bridge, boats, opera house...oh just shut up... you know what I mean)

But we had Vikings and Saxons

And the best band in town even if it was a small stage.

I was also my daughter's school concert this week. I went expecting the usual drivel and was pleasantly surprised to be entertained by a mass of very talented young people including this band. A number of Grandparents watching were rather put out, but to be honest, compared to concerts of primary years gone by, it was a blessed relief to be rocked.

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Look! Both Hands

Going back to the blowing your child's trumpet theme, I decided to show you this.

My daughter can still write with both hands at the same time.  It looks like it's getting harder for her but she's still got it.

Ambidextrous has to come in handy (do you see what I did there) somewhere in life.

I've been trying to think of Facebook status' to tout it but any I've come up with so far would have CEOPs on my case.

Talking of CEOPs have you been to the ThinkuKnow website.  It is very very worth a look if you have children online.

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