Tolerance

I used to think I was a tolerant person.

I have no racial issues (except for the French but isn't that normal).

I have full tolerance of all religions, I believe in one god/maker and think that we have all found different ways of showing that.

I tend to live and let live.  I have to, it's my key skill to say exactly the wrong thing (particularly on Facebook) so I have to live and let live in the hope that others will cut me the same slack!

But I was wrong, I am only long distance tolerant.  When it comes to actually practising tolerance at home I am failing.  You would think that I as I believe we are all one, I could manage 2 weeks with the mother-in-law.

Mentally I have thrown in the towel, I didn't even bother to get dressed on Saturday until 1pm.  She said a number of times 'how nice to see her actually relaxing, good on her'.  All comments tend to be in the 3rd person, never spoken to me directly, even when in the room (it's a bizarre thing to experience).  But the truth is I wasn't relaxing.  My mind was so full of stress, of comments, of how to do the right thing, that I had just hit a complete state of 'I really can't be bothered'.

The night before, I had paid a lot of money for her, my mother and aunt to go to the local open air theatre with a 3 course pre-theatre meal included in their night out.  MIL tends not to eat more than once a day so I mentioned that she might want to save her eating for that night, as I had paid a lot of money for it.

"WHO, WHO, WHO has PAID" she shot at me.  I shrug unable to give a rounded polite answer, HWMBO interjects "we have mum"...she calms down.  My guess is she is happy with the thought that he has a hand in it.

On returning late that night, I asked how it all was.  "lovely night" she replied "But I wouldn't bother eating there again, dreadful, wouldn't bother it all".  She of course threw a gushing thank you in later.  But the thoughtlessness of the first comment had already blown it for me.  I am unable to get over it. You see, no tolerance.

I feel like a bad person, if I was good this awkward situation wouldn't exist. 


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!