A little while ago I told you all my friends were getting divorced, well the trend continues.
2 more friend's husbands have gone off with other women.
Where all things at home are 'normal', I believe that the philandering man takes the responsibility, of course, they had a duty to their wives and how can you possibly work on your marriage if there are 3 in it (to quote a famous line).
But I am increasingly finding myself angry with the 'other' woman involved. Many years ago I thought I loved a man, we saw each other a lot, I wasn't really 'involved' in his life much at all and I found out why when a wedding picture turned up. In the time he was seeing me he was in the process of getting married. I was mortified and angry. I was the other woman. I wanted to go tell her, say 'hey look what type of man this is'. But I did nothing, except never saw him again.
But if the women knows a man is married, surely she should say no to the man. I once had a friend at work, who was going through a difficult time, ask me to sleep with him. I told him to go home to his wife and pass 'that feeling' on. We remained great friends.
I work with 2 men who once had a very heated discussion at work.
One said every man will cheat on their wives if they have a guarantee of not being caught out.
The other said he would never cheat on his wife in any circumstance.
I like that man and his principles.
If someone believes it's time to leave a marriage, which is what you do when you have an affair, then surely the spouse deserves the respect of being told that, before they go off looking for another.
If a married man approaches a women, shouldn't she say "go home and discuss it with your wife first". Doesn't she have a level of moral responsibility too?
I think I'll leave you with another thought about marriage:
If you have to stop at traffic lights whilst driving to the shops, do you think "must get a new car". No, of course not. I see my marriage as that car. It has to stop at traffic lights. Occasionally it has to go into the garage but you don't think about trading it in every time...actually, I've just had a look at my car and I might be talking myself out of that analogy fairly swiftly
...look, just work on your marriage ok, it deserves it!
Read more...
This was taken as the sun was coming up and I was above the mist in the valley.
