Double-U

This week's Gallery is My Weekend

Wet

Wall

 Wasps

Welsh Cakes

Window

Wine

Woman

Pretty much sums it up for me

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The Fundamental Difference Between Guiding And Scouting

Yesterday, I finally put my finger on the fundamental difference between Guiding and Scouting.

1. Flowers on the table.  We may be sat in a garage in wellingtons but that is no reason to let standards slip.

2. At least one person at every event will be detailed with the job of making tea and coffee and delivering it to the leaders, even if we are stood on top of a hill in the pouring rain pushing grass sledges.

And that is it. The rest is pretty much semantics

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Blowing Your Child's Trumpet

Do you blow your child's trumpet?  I tend not to.

We do of course big up her achievements at home but I've never had the burning desire to shout it out loud on social media or at the school gates.

I have endured lengthy discussions episodes of being talked at by mothers telling me how well Darling Dylis is doing, what fantastic results she got, what set she is now in and for added measure what part she got in the school play.  I tend to nod and make the appropriate 'I am impressed' noises and face.  They then look at me with expectation of sharing and I give nothing back.  I refuse to play child achievement tennis.

The same goes with Facebook, I watch friend's status' shouting out the glory of achievements of their children and it irritates me.  I've no idea why it does, it just does. 

I mentioned before about a glib comment recently getting me into trouble.  A friend announced in very bantered fashion the school sports day achievements of their child.  Now I like this friend and I was pleased for child but instead of saying so, I commented "not in it for the fun then?!"   It annoyed her.  Fail as a friend.

I feel it's a bit like saying 'I love you' all the time, it takes away the true sense of importance of it.  It's almost like announcing it on Facebook devalues it, I like to just put the certificate on the kitchen wall and let people notice, if they care to.  But is there any difference in that?

It's a shame, maybe I'm not teaching my daughter to value her achievements in the same way that I have obviously not learnt to value my own.  Or maybe I'm just not able to show her how to be outwardly proud and share with all (and sundry)?

Perhaps it's time to start to big her up, just wondering if that's the part where you prepare for the fall?

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Did I mention that I've been ill?

No probably not, because I've been too busy to admit it. First there was Guide camp, then London with the Brownies, then Dinner for Fifty. All this on top of a huge project at work about to go live, so I'm doing 50 hour weeks plus the mother, wife, housekeeper and bottlewasher so I've not really had time to be ill.

First my back went, badly. I had to stop running.
The pain killers interfered with other medication I have to take and off I went on a spiral of tiredness, pain and depression.

It's all finally caught up with me. A huge argument with HWMBO and the air is knife cutable. A jolly jipe of a comment on Facebook was taken badly and I offended a friend. After apologising more than ought to be necessary (context is a killer on both Facebook and Twitter) I sobbed, body heaving sobs for a good 20 minutes.

It's all become a bit much really.

I've dragged myself out for a run, pain or no pain.  I have given up arguing with medical insurers and I am going to see an Osteopath regardless.

I will try to look for a silver lining in my life but the Mother in Law is about to fly in. There is another camp looming and a holiday to prepare for. My uncle's illness is hard on the closest members of my family. Well it still all feels a bit much really.

Thank you for listening, if you made it this far. Normal happy service will be resumed shortly.

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Fifty For Dinner

This weeks Gallery is 3 Word Gallery

I apologise for the quality of the pictures but I was rather busy getting ready for 50 to come to my house for a get together, and  rather busy being the hostess with the mostess and then clearing up!

They are far flung family that come once every 3 years.  The sort of family you would probably only get to see at hatch, match and dispatch.

We realised a while ago that the hatch and match were getting less and the dispatch were too sad.

So now we have an annual get together of no particular occasion.  I host it once every 3 years.

Every time I say never again, and every time I do it again!

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The Comfortable Side of a Relationship

Do you remember when you made an effort for each other?  I had a friend who used to get up before her boyfriend was awake to put a face of make up on.  I think there is a point when you give up on that sort of thing but it bothered me recently when I caught myself 'doing my legs' because I was off to London with the Guiders and someone might see them, not because HWMBO would!

So what are the signs that you've hit that stage in the relationship?

You shave your legs and pits because you are going out with the girls.

Matching underwear is a thing of the past, but you'll make an effort if you do go out together. You'll be uncomfortable all night and then he won't notice anyway!

You'll happily continue to discuss anything from the other side of the loo door, regardless of the noises from the other side.

Vice-versa

Heck, sometimes the door isn't a barrier!

It takes a day and a half to realise you haven't actually bothered to text home whilst away.

You both sit up reading in bed.

Haemorrhoid cream is written on the shopping list without a flinch (sic).

Booking a weekend away is most unlikely to involve your significant other.

You are considering separate holidays without it being a concern.

I think I have one foot in this camp but I'm not quite there yet. I am known (and I'm only telling you this if you promise not to mention it to HWMBO) to put a skirted suit on in the mornings (he likes those!) and change into trousers after he's gone to work (I work in a 99% male office where they say 'wo-man' like cavemen at the first sign of femininity.)

So some effort on my part still exists, but I do see that, if not quite Wayne and Waynetta, a certain amount of 'too comfortable' has set in.

Time to kick us into touch I think.

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Guiding opens Doors

Well figuratively speaking it does, more literally it gets you to steps (stick with me!)

We took our Brownies to London last weekend. If you are a city dweller then you might not raise a hair at this but for country girls, most of whom had never been to the city, it's a huge thing. It was also a great responsibility for the Leaders too. 

We went down by train on Saturday morning and then straight out to Crystal Palace for a day in the park.  We came back into London for a spot of sight seeing at Westminster and a walk along the embankment to Pizza Hut.  We walked back to the Eye and had a capsule to ourselves just as the sun was setting.

After a sleepover at Baden Powell House and breakfast we hot footed it to Downing Street. (I'm getting to those steps!)

This is the side of the security gates you don't normally see!

Oh yes indeedy! We had prearranged a trip right up to the front door.

The police there were so lovely and friendly even with one hand on the automatic weapon they had tales to tell and made us very relaxed and welcome.

But that's not all dear reader, do you recognise these gates?!  Now look at the curve!  Yes indeedy, we are inside Buckingham Palace forecourt to see The Changing of the Guard.

Photography is not allowed hence the odd out of pocket shots, but I had to have something for you!

But that's not all, because it was raining so much, the lovely police lady took us right up to the house and allowed us to stand in the covered front doorway!  See the cream brick to the side of this photo? That's the Palace.

The Brownies sat in neat rows on the steps covered in red carpet.

We decided that now we were elegantly undercover we should take off our coats and show the crowds watching us who we were and how smart we were.

Well where else would you hang your coat than on the Queen's front door knob!  Honestly, you just can't take some people anywhere!

The Change was a wet change, so not much happened really, no band, no pomp, no ceremony, just a few Guards marching.

I think the Police felt a little sorry for us. When it was time to leave they said "we are afraid we are going to have to take you out of the far gate" and they walked us the full length of the front of the Palace, right under the balcony. They slowed down at each archway and made sure we had a good glimpse through. We walked past each Sentry in their box and one winked at us! Very naughty!

After we left the Palace we walked up the Mall to Nelson and the Olympic Clock.  Then onto McDonalds at Kings Cross before home.

What an incredible weekend!  The Brownies will not really understand how lucky they have been until they are a bit older and go to London again and realise that not everybody gets to be 'the other side of the gates'. And in fact it's only Guides, Cubs and Scouts that have this privilege at Buckingham Palace.  I think we were exceptionally lucky because there was only us there that day and the rain was really dreadful, but the girls didn't let us down they stood still, and happy through it all and we were very proud of them.

And before anyone leaves a comment about how good I am for taking the girls, I will point out I went into full stress meltdown the day before (mainly down to ill health I think) but only the steadfastness of our Brown Owl who arranged the entire trip kept me sane!

We are a good group of Leaders who work well together and I take my share of responsibility. (Herding tired little Brownies on the Tube felt a lot like herding cats!) But this time the praise goes to our Brown Owl (I have to say that she will be reading!).

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Closeness or Falseness

Do you think that Social Media is helping you to get closer to your friends and truly stay connected?


Is it giving you an excuse not to be really close and support with your friends but give the false impression that you care?


Are you forming fake friendships in social media, getting interested in the minutiae of a stranger's life at the expense of your real friends?


Have you found friendships on-line that are genuine and lasting?


For me the answer is yes to all 4.

Certain parts of Social Media are very healthy for me.  The Guiders I am actively involved with are incredibly supportive online and we build understanding and friendship that we would not if we only saw each other once a week in the manicness of a meeting.  We work better as a team for having that understanding.  I have made contacts with other Guiders that I have never met but have given me an incredible level of help, support and advice.  I know if I needed a hand in a desperate situation they would be there.

I read on a Nivea Facebook Page an explanation to this:

"Modern technology also allows us to tap into the basic building blocks of closeness. Scientists have identified self-disclosure - the sharing of personal information - as vital for feeling connected, and it’s now thought uploading pictures onto social networking sites like Facebook functions as the visual equivalent of a catch-up over coffee.

It gives friends the chance to see what we’ve been up to, revealing something about our hobbies, holidays and relationships with others. And the interactive nature of photo sharing means our pals can comment and ask questions about the pictures – a form of responsiveness, which is another closeness essential. We are then able to respond in turn, and this online dialogue is likely to lead to the development of positive regard and mutual understanding, the final two building blocks of intimacy. In short, new technology provides us with some of the important elements we need for true closeness."

But what about those relationships where it is a great excuse  'not to catch up', you send 'hi, how are ya?" messages and lose the guilt that you haven't picked up the phone or responded to the 'we must get together requests'.  I do this and I feel guilty for it afterwards.  I tend to prune out those Facebook contacts and just take a big hit of initial guilt and drop the long term drip guilt.

Sometimes Twitter seems to swallow my time at the expense of real life friendships.  I know more about someone living 2000 miles away and their daily living and feelings, than my best friend down the road.  I get sucked into being interested in @youdontknowmwandwillnevermeetme.  But when I need a friend, really need a friend, they won't be the person that I turn to, so why do I give my precious time to watching their streams?

Blogging can be the same, there are some people whose blogs I have read for a long time that I feel very close to, and yet I don't 'know' them.  Am I in a false one sided relationship?  Do I con myself that they may care about the real me too?

But sometimes those online friendships do strike gold and real and long lasting friends are made (I married one).

I guess life is about balance, knowing when the technology is supporting you and feeding healthy growth and when to put it down and touch the human.

These thoughts were prompted by Nivea's 'A Million Moments of Closeness campaign'.  They've got a competition running at http://apps.facebook.com/feelcloserapp/ the photo buffs amongst you should have a look at it.

I would be interested to hear your opinion of how close you feel to on-line friends and The Debate is also worth continuing at the Nivea page.  

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Dad Shaped Hole

This weeks Gallery is Dads.

I blogged before about the Dad shaped hole in my life.


How did the man who was my staff, go from this:

 To this:

To this:






And gone....and not a day goes by when I don't want to talk to him, see him, touch him, anything..20 years gone and the pain never lessons, never.

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Clothes Shopping with Tweens

Daughter and I went to our closest Out of Town Shopping Centre with a view to buying some necessaries for Guide camp.  As always it degenerated into a fashion shop which can be joyous or not, wholly depending on the mood of child or phase of the moon.  But I was astounded by some of the comments I heard other mothers saying to the children:

"You can have anything you like, not one of those, you'd rather have one of these, this is better"
ahhhh so not anything he likes then

"You can't have that, I don't like the colour or the style or anything about it"

You're not the one that's going to be wearing it!

"If you don't start to cheer up and behave yourself we're going straight home now, do you hear me"

I'm guessing that's the kid's plan!

My input into shopping with daughter usually involves me lifting up a hanger with a hopeful expression and putting it straight back again as she raises an eyebrow at me.  I am also good for carrying bags and fetching different sizes in the changing rooms.  I will occasionally try to steer her away from something that will make her look more beached whale than beach party but mainly I just leave her to it and stump up the cash. 

After watching with shock the way some parents talk to their children I turned the listening inwards and annoyed myself by hearing  a similar contradiction.

"I don't really have the money for this at the moment.  Would you like one of these too?"
Great, let's teach her how to live in the 'I want it now world' and rack up debt!

Mother and daughter shopping...on the whole it is a pleasant experience for us, I find we tend to leave the shops an hour too late, just as the strain has really set in but I have found the best way to deal with it is to not get too wrapped up in anything for myself.  A quick shoe try or perhaps the odd try on at the same time but just see it as a time for some time together, I love the conversations we have whilst wandering about.

I stood with the mother of a 19 year old girl outside the changing rooms and we laughed at the folly of it, it cheered me up nicely to know there are a few more years of this in it for us yet.

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Squeaky Printer

It was another night of poking around the interthingy that found me here:

Customer to Hewlett Packard. "I have a problem with my laser cartridge. It stopped working. And the mouse is really stuck !"

Tech support. "Mouse ? How do you mean ?"

Customer. "Hang on, I will send you a picture........."

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You're not wearing that....

I came downstairs ready for a run to be faced with a stern daughter:

"You are NOT going out dressed like that"

"but it's hot"

"No, no buts, you are not going out like that"

"awwww, please"

"NO"

"That's better, but don't talk or wave to anyone I know"

"OK, I'll keep my head down I promise"

!

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The Importance of Double Checking

My royal wedding commemorative mug finally arrived. 
I'm a little disappointed. 
Not only by it's tardiness.

Maybe it's the claim that it was the 'Fairytale Romantic Event of All the Centuries'.  My money would actually be on Lizzy and Darcy.

But there's more to it than that, something's wrong but I can't quite put my finger on it.

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Will you let your child catch measles?

Through out her life I  have made sure that my daughter has had her vaccinations.  I was always completely bemused by the mothers who proudly and loudly announced in the playground that Darling Dilis had not had her jabs because Mummy cared so much about her.

Plan B  tagged me to tell you about Save The Children's push for increased rates of global vaccinations for children.  They specifically mention measles as a big killer.

We have a tendancy to think Third World when these sorts of discussions start but did you know that  France and neighbouring countries are experiencing an outbreak of measles. Last year there were over 4500 cases and this year's first quarter figures were:

France - 7321,  Spain - 657,  Switzerland - 390, UK - 345, Germany - 276  source

A number of children who have visited France this year have returned to the UK with measles and have then infected other children and adults who have not been immunised.

So far in both France and UK no one who has received 2 doses of a measles containing vaccine (usually MMR) has developed measles.
 
Some children can't have the vaccine for medical reasons but the protection for these children comes from the herd control of the overwhelming majority of children having been vaccinated,  preventing mass outbreak and lowering the likely hood that they will come into contact with the virus.
 
WHO says "Measles is one of the leading causes of death among young children even though a safe and cost-effective vaccine is available."
 
There was the panic about the combined MMR having links to Autism and Crohn's disease.  This link still remains unproven, unclear and is becoming less credible as continuing evidence shows.

Measles is a horrid disease and the infection rates are still rising in Europe and in the UK. We seem to have all forgotten how dreadful the disease is, the devastating affects it can have and that it is not a Third World phenomena, it is a risk here too.

You are never too old to be vaccinated, if you are travelling to mainland Europe for your holidays this year and your children aren't vaccinated perhaps you should consider it as a necessity alongside your sun cream and hat.

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A Great Guide Camp

Did you want to ask how Guide Camp went?

I watched a mist creeping across a field like water rising.  Awesome sight.

I played wide games in a pitch black wood that finished up with me lying in a hollow under an ivy bush with screaming Guides thundering past unable to find me.  In the end I gave myself up as even I was getting spooked!

Camp fire was fantasic and I got to do my new party piece "Hello my name is Joe" which went down well.

I learnt to cook outdoors, I love camp porridge and I earned the name '3 bowls Kelloggsville' because of the amount I packed away!

I pitched tents, I built fires, I had to wait for a kettle to boil longer than I enjoyed, I got cold feet and my bed was rather uncomfortable but I had the best time ever and I'm rather hoping I get invited back next year.

Oh and for the Brownie Guiders reading, it was so much easier than Pack Holiday, the Guides do so much themselves, I'm thinking of defecting!

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How do you solve a problem like 'Young Leader'

Young Leaders are exactly that.  Girls aged 14-17 that start the transition from a member of a Guide or Senior Section unit to actually helping to run a unit.  Some girls seem to naturally make the move and become confident leaders quickly and some clearly want to become leaders, enjoy what they are doing, but aren't quite able to make the jump in attitude.

I've watched a young leader this week on the cusp.  She can engage the girls, the younger girls really like her and relate to her, she is great at songs and games and then sometimes she slips back into being a Guide and loses the plot.

I saw her throw an enormous tantrum over packing away her own tent.  Shouting at the Guider in charge, refusing to help and generally behaving like Kevin the teenager. 

I wonder how much of it is to do with the way the older Guiders speak to her, she was told in no uncertain terms to pack her tent away but on the other hand she should have been doing it anyway.

I tried to calmly and quietly ask her not to shout and cry in front of the Guides because of the example she was setting but to go for a walk to chill for a bit.  She simply shouted louder.

There were times when she led games and songs with great ease but other times where she went and sat in the tents and instead of leading, simply became 'another Guide'.

So how do you solve a problem like 'Young Leader'?  How do you help young adults to mentally mature?

On Monday I'm off to see a group of Young Leaders to try to enthuse them, motivate them and help them release their potential.  Sometimes I wonder if it is possible at all, and sometimes I see the fresh faced Adult Leaders of tomorrow with massive promise in their eyes.

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