Is it not enough to know that you could run a marathon

This week's Gallery is Health and Fitness.

I have always exercised. When I was younger I swam competitively, trained 5 days a week, competitions every Saturday. Long after I left school I carried on playing hockey for a ladies team.  I then moved onto a running track at a local stadium.  When I moved further away from the city, I started step aerobics locally, then circuit training.  I've always been active and finally went back to running as the one thing that always lifted me come rain or shine.

And then my back injury struck.  Walking kept my general fitness levels up until I could get back to running. But this time my knee has given up and I haven't been able to walk either.

What started it was running too far.  It's a self competitive addiction.  I was pushing myself harder.  Doing about 18km each Friday and a couple more 8-10km runs during the week.

The endorphin rush of a good run is a high, stopping exercise again has pushed me back into a period of depression.

I've had an MRI scan and I'm waiting for the results, but by the sounds of it the outcome will be 'your knee is wearing out, stop running'.

 Start cycling the consultant said.

NO - I said!

I like mud, I like being on my feet.

I like this view and I don't want to do it on a bike.

Go swimming he said.   I hate swimming these days.  I just can't be doing with the driving to the pool (too lazy), the changing, the slimy wet floor.

I just want to do this, on my own.

I see others saying "This year I will run a marathon" and they do, "I'll bike to Paris" and so be it.  My body just seems to break every time I push it to go just that bit further.

Maybe I don't plan enough, don't build up to the endurance and that means I keep breaking it.

"Is it not enough to know that you could run a marathon if you wanted to, but choose not to break yourself doing it"  said the consultant,

I guess it's going to have to be.  But I am fed up of being second best all the time, a fitness failure.  The one with the bad back, bad knee, bad attitude.


There was  a blogger (and life counsellor) that told me if I had a more positive mental out look I would not have a bad back.  I told her it was a a bit hard to think your way out of the pain of 3 major disk herniations.   But she insisted the pain was all in my mind and controllable with the right attitude.  I told her she knew jack shit about pain.  And she pointed out that it was exactly that attitude that was my problem.

So with that in mind, I've started strapping up my knee, taking gargantuan amounts of pain killers and doing exactly what my physio and consultant have told me not to do - I've been out running.

Expect a surgery post coming this way soon.