Microdiscectomy Recovery week 13

>>  Saturday, May 12, 2012

Last weekend I made it to Wales, a 5 hour journey with a 30 minute break. In fairness it was a great car to be sat in - a big people carrier, very upright seats with mountains of leg room. I used an ice pack a fair amount of the way and I was a bit stuck and pained when we stopped for a break but the point is : I made it! In January I had a hospital appointment where I was almost lying down in the car for a 20 minute journey and crying with the pain of the seated position and this weekend I made it to Wales. This is a significant step for me.

I made it back too! I was very careful whilst I was there to rest a lot, lie down a lot and my friends were very quick to carry my bags, insist I didn't lift heavy plates and didn't make me feel uncomfortable about standing when they were all sitting. Guiding is a remarkably accepting and caring place to be, I recommend it. They also gave me lots of chocolate!

I have walked a couple of 5km walks this week as well. Which felt wonderful to be out again and even better that I had muscle ache in both legs. This means the muscle ache was stronger than the sciatica - another result!

I have worked from home all week plus the usual house work, mum chores.

Today (Friday) I've hit the pain barrier again.  I have a sore back, leg and butt pain and a general tiredness that is beyond normal.  My bad leg is also spasming badly.  So clearly the week has all been too much and it's time to rest again.

I also had an interesting conversation with someone today that implied that if I had the correct positive mental attitude towards healing I would fix quicker, wouldn't need pain killers etc.  I sobbed and sobbed with the frustration that I don't want to be like this, I want to be running again, I want to have energy again.  How can anyone say I'm not trying to beat this hands down, even my consultant said I was ahead of the healing process.  And yet still, the world and his wife have advice.

Everyone has advice when it comes to a bad back, everyone has had one  or knows someone with one and everyone else has all the answers.  When people have toothache they get all raggedy, grumpy and rush off to the dentist because they can't stand it any longer.  Sciatica is like having a permanent raging toothache, a pain that drains your soul, leaves you tired, leaves you unable to concentrate on anything because it is always there pulling at your attention. 

I think I'm starting to leave this horrid feeling behind, the time I spend thinking 'oooh I'm sore' is less everyday and the good days are far outweighing the bad days.  So to those people that would like to discuss my 'attitude' : screw you.

I'm back to the office from Monday, I have another meeting with occupational health but I fully expect them to let me start working from the office. I'm looking forward to it for a return to normality and dreading it because of how tired I might be to start off with.

Let's do the pain review:  on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm going for a 4.  Spasms in leg mainly when I'm physically tired.  I've sat on the settee twice this week for about an hour and worked on my kneeling chair for at least an hour a time without getting up.  I have a lower sore back.  Sciatica is lower side leg, sometimes calf but minimal and occasionally butt. I'm icing less and haven't taken any pain killers at all this week.

I am much better than I was 2 weeks ago.  I really hope now this rate of healing continues and I have to remind myself constantly to squat to pick things up and go into cupboards etc It would be very easy to forget to take care and go straight back to week 7 again.

This isn't about attitude, this is about appropriate time to heal after major surgery.


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