My favourite excuse for a euphemism

My favourite excuse for a euphemism died this week.

I had no idea until Cog spotted it on a post on Facebook. We all live in a quite a disconnected real world considering how connected we are online.

The men at work referred to my friend as Giles. I guess because he had money and lived in the country, so Giles he will forever be to me.

We lunched about every 3 months, with an awful lot of 'must catch up' texts in between.

Lunch or dinner was often in London and usually attached to another event. An art exhibition or private viewing. I was never entirely sure why he took me, I didn't ever feel like I fitted the mould of people attending and he would often look at me with bemused despair.  Over meals he'd tell me funny stories of the famous people he'd met at various times in his life and then I'd talk at him for hours about guiding or one of my many social faux-pas and he'd laugh and roll his eyes again.

He took me to places I'd never otherwise have been and he had a wonderful 'do you know who I am?' way that took us to tables rather than queues.

I was never entirely sure if he was really someone they should know or if it was a game he played but I'd just follow him and continue to tell him how to keep your feet warm in a tent!

He took me to some special places with a 'must catch up soon' parting.  I generally took him to local garden centre cafes accompanied by his 'let's not do that again' quotes. The worst being what I thought was a lovely sunny court yard cafe that turned out not to have a license: 'Well I didn't know, I don't drink!' was my defence which got the laughing rolling eyes response.

I sometimes worried that I irritated him (mostly because of the laughing eye rolling) and wondered why he took me out but one lunch time he said 'you are such a special friend, you really care'. It turned it around for me, I felt like I mattered to someone.

I did care. He'd had dreadful health issues and I'd done the odd prescription pick up for him but mostly I was just offers and no action. But I guess help is a two way street. You have to be able to accept it as well as offer it.

I shall miss being called Angel, being taken to champagne bars, watching very expensive art work changing hands and being introduced to the shop owners in the Portobello road and anywhere else we went. I have no idea how he knew so many people but it was never dull. I just nodded politely and concentrated on not doing/saying the wrong thing and laughing as I knew it would happen at some point regardless!

But most of all I will miss feeling that as sure as eggs is eggs we'd be going to dinner soon after the obligatory number of 'much catch up darling' text messages.

Life is becoming pock marked with holes of missing people. Each one creating an ache, a sadness for missing them and a happiness for having had the experience of knowing them and sharing part of life with them.

And I will never be able to look at this again without a pang of pain.


Angel.