Driving at the age of 200

>>  Friday, May 17, 2013

Recently HWMBO, after an abstinence of at least 6 years, has managed to pick up a speeding ticket.  He has done well considering the miles he does on the road each year, the fact that he has a foot made of lead and once even managed to pick up 3 tickets in a 2 week holiday in Australia, 2 of which were in a double demerit period.

The British police are considerably more lenient than the Australian law enforcement officers.

Actually I'll bump a tangent here to tell you that I am convinced the first 6 weeks of Australian Police training is how to lose your sense of humour, common sense and be a total arsehole.  We went through a speed trap once as we were accelerating on the slip road to join the freeway.  The officer pulled us over on the slip road which left us about 10 yards to join the damn thing, with ticket in hand, when he'd finally finished lecturing us.  Whenever we have been approached by the Police in Australia, which is more often than in the UK would ever be due to random breathalysing, road stops etc, HWMBO always says to me 'shut up, do NOT say a word, don't even breathe out loud'.  Here, in the UK, you can successfully talk your way out of a red light hop and a rather dreadful road manoeuvre, both of which I put my sorry hands up to but the lovely, lovely police really don't like paper work if they can explain and educate.  The Australians just want to see you squirm and pay.

It is also noted that Australian Police won't even smile at a child in an airport to put them at ease, even though a very little COG was clearly frightened by the 6 of them marching in with guns for nothing other than show.  Whereas the British gun toting police at St Pancras say hello and will stand with tourists to have a photo taken.  As we returned from Perth into Birmingham on the trip that the Aussies had scared the heck out of COG, I collared the first armed policeman I saw at the airport and asked him to have a chat with her to chill her back out again.  He was totally lovely and after a smile, chat and a wink, she skipped back to me saying 'it's ok mum, they are nice here aren't they'.  The British Police seem to have after school classes in being nice to general Joe Public and extra tuition in patience with utter idiots otherwise known as me.

Anyhoo, as I was saying, the British pole-eeece are more lenient and have offered HWMBO another speeding course.  Brilliant news.  I did one, it was really informative, not at all condescending and taught driving skills for sticking to the speed limits.  That's a limit not a target!

So it's even better news that the police are giving HWMBO another 183 years to make sure he completes the course.  It's vital that he act immediately and book that course for the 28th Feb 2196.  Wouldn't want to not get a place.  Ah bless those programmers.

I wonder if it would stand up in court?!


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