Microdiscectomy 9 months on

>>  Saturday, November 24, 2012

Well here we are the magic nine months on.  When I finally lost my tempter with the surgeon who kept telling me 'early days, early days' and I insisted he give me a realistic time frame, he told me 9 months to heal.

This time last week I would have said he was spot on.  Things were going incredibly well, The pain was so rare I had almost forgotten about how it felt.  In fact I was so blaze about it I was bending into the dishwasher, carrying buckets of water to wash the car, putting out chairs at Guiding meetings and I had started to up the running a bit.

I say 'a bit' because I've been purposely driving out to soft, flat paths on short (2 miles or so) distances perhaps twice a week.

On Thursday I did a run, washed the car, did a drive into the city, put out chairs at a meeting and then sat through that meeting... so which thing shot my back?  Because on Friday the sad and sickening creeping of a familiar pain returned.

I iced for much of the weekend, went for one short walk.  I've pulled out of a Rangers meeting, cancelled my place at the Division meal (because I can't sit again), cancelled any other commitments except work.
But I know this feeling, I know now having herniated my disk 3 times exactly what it feels like when it goes and this is another one.  I don't need a MRI to show me the black cloud of doom oozing out of my disk.  I know exactly what it feels like and this is it.

The one finger cross hope I have is that at the last MRI the disk was so thin there was hardly anything left to come out of it.  Perhaps this is it's last swan song.

So what does herniation number 4 feel like?  Well I feel much like I did at 6 months I think.  Back to manageable pain.  Providing I put my life on hold and do only maintenance life I can limp through it.  But damn me, I've had a good 2 months of normality and I tasted normal life, and now I'm a bit miffed

If one more person tells me it's running that doing this to me I swear I shall scream, because I'll guarantee if I didn't have to cook, wash, iron, get cases out, stack chairs, carry shopping, sit writing Christmas cards, bend over wrapping presents, empty dishwashers and the million other things that make my back hurt then I could run quite happily but the rest of life keeps getting in the way.

Many people expect a lot of me too and look at me strangely when I say no because of my back.  I think the problem is there is no bandage, it's a bit like being mentally ill, if people can't see the problem they forget you have it.  "No, I can't do a kitchen shift at the festival." "No, I won't put the tree up." "No, I can't carry your parcel round."  But it is hard because the same people see me walking or running...but that it my choice.  I choose to run today not do a shift bending over getting mince pies out of boxes and carry bowls of water.

I am worried now that I am committed to a trip in the summer that I don't know whether my body will be able to do it, each time I have asked about whether there is a contingency plan for me I'm not sure they are taking me seriously.

Maybe in a month's time I'll feel better again but I'm seriously worried, I am currently feeling exactly the same as I did this time last year and by Christmas last year, I couldn't even walk.

Time will tell.

I have created a page of links for my Microdiscectomy posts and other links I have found helpful. You can find it here.


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