Buying Jeans - don't make me do it!

My favourite jeans, my best friends, bottom huggers galore, waist fitters, perfect lengthers, an extra layer of skin, soooo comfortable - they were so old they were part of me, my very being ........they wore thin...they have a hole in the seat.....arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

So today was jeans shopping - how I hate it. My bottom is not hugely big, but by the end of a couple of hours I firmly believe that I am :

a very odd shape (as nothing quite fits properly)

the wrong height (too tall or too short and don't believe the measurement on the label!)

have a massive bottom (or the back would not gape so)

a tiny waist (or the back would not gape so)

I have come home with 3 pairs of poor substitutes in the vague hope that one will take on the challenging role and high expectations I have of them.

Farewell my friends