How I got shot

Well because so many of you asked I will tell you, but honestly it really isn't that exciting.

I was sitting quite happy one sunny afternoon in my mother's back garden. With Mother, HWMBO, COG, brother, sister-in-law, niece1 and niece2 generally mulling over life.  Well in truth they were taking the rise out of me because I had booked to go into Paris on Bastille day without realising that it was Bastille day.

When I suddenly felt a massive pain in my upper arm.  At first I thought it was a wasp sting but the pain after the immediate jab was more like it had been hit than stung.  I shot up out of my chair and something fell to the ground.  It was an air rifle pellet.

The garden isn't overlooked, it would have been impossible to have hit me from a direct shot, so no one was aiming at me in particular.  This makes me happy!  The pellet was also quite flat but as it hadn't broken my skin, I suspect it had ricocheted off brickwork somewhere and I had taken the unlucky secondary bounce. 

So on the face of it, it didn't really matter, but if it had hit any one of the 8 people in the garden in the eye, it would have blinded them and it damn well hurt me.  I didn't really want to make a fuss at my mothers, it would have stressed her and she has enough of that in her life generally anyway, but when I got home I thought I would ring the police.

I rang the 101 number which is the way to report 'information about non urgent crime in your area', I explained that it was no hassle but I thought I'd best tell them it had happened in case there had been other reports that day, I also explained that we are close to the fields, they might had been shooting birds etc etc, so no stress...right?

Wrong.....within minutes an armed response vehicle arrives at my house with blue lights flashing, out jumps the police lady and hammers on my door. Fan-fucking-tastic, the neighbours are having a field day.

So an incredibly embarrassed me shows them the little squashed air-rifle pellet, the little mark on my arm and explains that it happened 4 hours ago, about 2 miles away. 

And that is precisely the reason why I didn't mention it on here before...because I ended up looking a right burk!

So situation normal then....