Don't mention ..... the exams

>>  Thursday, May 24, 2012

Yes I know it's 'don't mention the war' but I am seriously living in that environment right now.

Exam time has hit our house.  Seemingly normal events that would  generally be a source of amusement or maybe no more than an eye-roller have become volcanic explosions of upset.

God forbid the correct underwear not being washed and dry for the correct day (difficult being as my tumble dryer has gained weight and snapped it's belt this week).  Actually knowing what is required on which day is also impossible as any question such as "do you want anything sorting out for tomorrow?"  or "do you need anything washing?" appears now to be a declaration of war that results in an awful lot of back-chat, eye-rolling and general Kevinesque behaviour.

I have found that my main line of defence involves throwing easy to unwrap snacks through the bedroom door and delivering gargantuan amounts of ice cold milk shakes.  If I need to get really controversial and say something dreadful like "what do you want for tea?"  I am finding that holding chocolate out is sufficient barrier and distraction to get me out of the room in one piece.

I know, I know a number of you like Lulu and RTFM are having a much worse time  of it and I'm only getting the tip of an iceberg that will get steadily worse for many years to come.  In fact it underpins my usual belief that mother nature knows what she's doing.  She gets us used to the idea of wiping someone else's bottom by giving us sweet little new born nappies (remember how bad we thought they were at the beginning) before sending us onto the first 'after solids' experience and she leads us toward the hell that is GSCE season by giving us end of year prelims.

We normally take time over our meal on a Sunday to discuss the plans for the week ahead, who's going where and doing what. I knew things were getting tough when HWMBO and I were squished up behind the door in the utility:

"What ever you do don't mention the exams over dinner....or school....or stationary.....or that anything  we are doing may be hard or stressful (she'll only go on about how she has it harder!)"
"what can we talk about?"
"kittens! kittens are safe!"


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