Achievements or Burdens
>> Friday, February 03, 2012
In my younger days I was a swimmer, I swam 6 days a week for many years. I swam until I could no longer understand how people saw any joy in being in a pool. Public swim sessions bemused me because no one actually trained. To this day I still see no joy in lazing around in a pool, I think if you aren't ploughing up and down whilst reciting timestables or trying to remember German articles, you are wasting an opportunity.
I have a lot of medals, for a longtime I kept them in a box in the attic. They are all bronze and silver, not a single gold one. I was ashamed of the fact that I didn't actually win.
I got them out only recently, I had a road to Damascus moment...lots of people didn't get medals at all, there were a lot of people in the pool... heats, semis, finals. I made it onto the rostrum. But you never actually won.
I got them out because I realised I was happy to celebrate every achievement of COGs and display every trophy and academic achievement of HWMBO but mine were tucked away in shame. But you never actually won.
And every time I look at them they are a reminder. But you never actually won. But I have to remind myself that my medals are achievements not burdens.
Sometimes I find it hard to find the inner strength to feel good about who I am and what I have achieved in life. Sometimes it is very hard to believe in myself when you feel like the rest of the world just thinks you are a complete fool.
This video is a huge inspiration to me, especially at 2:24:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU&feature=related
I couldn't find a full version to embed, if you don't have the time to scoot off down the link then you can see the affect here but it's not the same without the full sound.
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