Thinking about Divorce?

>>  Saturday, April 16, 2011

Have you thought about divorce?  Do you find yourself meaning to say "pass the milk" over the breakfast table but inadvertently saying "You son of a bitch you had the best years of my life"  No? Just me then!

But seriously, my daughter just came home from a weeks school residential trip. I hung around waiting for the bus, brought her home, fed her and immediately she went off to her Dads, leaving me with nothing but a lot of smelly washing.

My friends were all texting and posting on Facebook about what a great time their kids had, and I don't know about mine because she wasn't here.  She's wasn't sat with me excitedly telling me about what she did, or even getting miserably teary because she was overtired.  I miss her more now than the week she was away.

Sometimes people talk about staying together 'for the sake of the kids' but I would take that one step further and say consider if it's worth staying together for what you would have to suffer.

Shared birthdays, half day Christmases, and generally not being together at times when you wish you were.  Weekends without her mean I go to places for a day out but spend so much time thinking 'she would have liked this' or watching the families in envy.

I've always known the answer is to make the most of time alone and do things I wouldn't otherwise do but it really isn't the same.

I'm very happy in my second marriage and my life as it is now. I wouldn't want to not be where I am today but if I had known at the end of my first marriage what I know now, I would have taken a second look at my life and considered a little more before we split up. Tried a little harder to appreciate what we had as a family.   I know there is so much more to a relationship than just kids, but when you have them, having them part-time can sometimes be very hard.

I'm going to take the opportunity to have an extra long run, a lie in and catch up on all that washing before she comes back and I hope she can still be bothered with sharing just a few more of her 'whilst I was away' tales with me when she comes home.

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