As you know, one of my friends died suddenly just before Christmas. Loss keeps catching me out. I think I'm happy and fine and then suddenly loss is in the pit of my stomach and I miss her and it hurts all over again. And then I feel guilty because her family are managing so well and the answer lies in inner strength and faith of theirs not my emotional weakness.
I found out yesterday one of my friends has leukaemia. She knows it is not curable but says she is confident it is treatable. She can now buy time.
We are all buying time all the time. I go for a run and I may gain another minute of life, I come home and eat a bar of chocolate (or two) and my death clock goes into over drive. Currently it tells me I am going to die September 2048. So that's nice.
But I am as likely to drop dead tomorrow, when you start to look at accident statistics (I'm talking slips, falls, being bitten by rats, choking to death) it all makes for grim reading.
I fear I have entered the age where death becomes as familiar as engagements, weddings, births and divorces have been at different stages of my life.