2 Types of Responses

I've had some pretty upsetting news that has floored both me and my major plans for next year.

I've had 2 types of responses from people I have told.

There has been the:

"Well, we all knew it was pie in the sky and would never amount to a hill of beans anyway"

and

"That must be a real disappointment for you, I'm sorry"

I thank my friends for the second response.  It is totally appreciated.

Having visited my doctor with glowing paper work in my sticky fingers for our Guiding Jailbreak Challenge, he looked at me and shook his head.  Too much, too intense, too much risk.  His words tumbled across the desk as my fat tears fell.  So I will not be going to B cities like Bologna, Bled, Brussels or Berne.  I won't be dancing in red on Swiss National day or any of the other exciting plans that were starting to take place because I have a crappy back that doesn't know I was the right women for the job.

I will not give up however, we will find another leader to do the travelling, it will happen, but I will continue to work hard to getting closer to the £6,400 we need to raise - expect more advertising and begging!  I am still catering for the 'getting to know you weekend', I will still be sorting the hoodies and helping with the travel arrangements and trying to find Scounts (or Guides) who want to dine with our Guides in Europe.  In short, I am not a failure because I will still be working hard to help the other leaders go.

And what about me: well, I've promised myself a journey somewhere.  A journey that won't involve a back pack, cheap train seats, hostel beds and hours of busy at youths pace.  I plan to take some time to go somewhere gently, back caringly and try to get back a little of the self esteem that has yet again fallen through the herniation floor.