>> Sunday, June 19, 2016
As Cog's illness rumbles on across the months in bouts of sunshine and despair, I am starting to learn about who my real friends are and so is she.
It's all clichés but a real friend is the one who comes and holds your hand whilst you cry and listens to you for far too long on the phone as you repeat yourself over and over despite there being a film on they wanted to watch. They keep offering to be there, to talk or just to listen and keep asking how it is going.
Cog has slowly socially isolated herself at school because she has to eat alone and focus on the task in hand, watching other people eat less than her makes her feel greedy and stops her eating. Listening to girls talk about diets and fat thighs feeds every eating disorder trigger to be had so she stays away from it as much as possible. But she hoped her friends would understand and let her into the circles as and when she could. She was wrong. She has been finding this hard lesson out across the course of a few months but it ended in a final bang when she saw Facebook pictures of what she has been missing and what she is not included in.
And to those people of my past that I let down by not being there when they needed me most and am still eternally sorry.