I'm a bit thick really

"I'm a bit thick really"

That was one of my my parting comments to a friend I had lunch with.  And the sad fact is that it so oftens seems to be the case.  My brain just doesn't seem to move at the pace of others. It needs time to process.  It often presents a word to me but doesn't allow it to move to my mouth so I have to decide whether to look a total fool by stumbling and searching for the right word or look a total fool by using the wrong word.  Usual lose:lose situation I seem to cart around.

On this occasion there had been a splitting of the bill, an exchange of money and change headed towards my purse and I couldn't fathom out whether friend was being nice and paying more than she ought to be or not.  I gave up trying and turned my brain off.

Maybe that is my problem, maybe I am lazy.  But maybe I am kidding myself there!

My english is fine (mostly) *points to blog*  

My DBA skills are seeing me through a career fine.

My maths will see me through simultaneous equations fine.

My logical problem solving is okey dokey - I love a logic problem or a suduko.

But ask me to work out money change under pressure and all I get from my brain is "BUFFERING".  Thank you to mumsgonto's son for giving me that wonderful description of how my brain works.

I don't think this is an age or medication thing, I've always been the same.  I need time to think about stuff, I need quiet time, I need to take my time.  Which begs the question: why do I spend so much time bouncing around, talking and my with my thoughts running ten to the dozen?

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence."

"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

So maybe I shouldn't be saying "I'm a bit thick really."  I have my skills and I have my place in life, it's just not dealing with mental maths.  I also need to learn not to feel intimidated by others that can do what I can't.  Do we all assume that everyone already knows everything we know and then some more on top?  This assumption holds me back from being happy being me.

It's a funny old world but just occasionally I get the feeling that whilst I'm not the brightest button in the tin there are some others that could benefit from a good dollop of brasso.