What would your child do?

This is too important not to share whether you've seen it before or not




I watched it nodding away thinking it wouldn't have happened to Cog, she wouldn't have been that daft. But as I watched with sinking heart, I saw the 11 year old go off with him towards the trees and I thought of Opemipo Jaji. 





I sat and watched it with Cog and it started a conversation about Jamie Bulger and she sat and watched a dispatches program about the case.  I think that she is of an age now where I feel I can share these things with her and not scare the nellies out of her.

There is a fine line between teaching your children the importance of stranger danger and scaring them witless.  There is a great benefit in the confidence and skills they gain from some independence and not constant helicopter parenting.

Besides if your child was going to be approached, abducted, abused is it far more likely to be by someone they know already.  Think April Jones who knew Mark Bridger.  Or poor Holly and Jessica killed by the school caretaker, a very familiar face to them. 

It isn't enough to talk to your children about 'stranger danger' like the mother in the clip. It means nothing to a child.  You need to talk about the rules of what they can and can't do.  Watch the little girl in the video say to the question "did you go off with him?" "No, he asked me to look for his doggy".  She still doesn't get it.

You need to have clear rules "you cannot leave this area without telling me first, do you understand? What do you understand?"  Get them to say it back to you to be sure they have it. 

I know it's hard for tiddlers, I know you need to have eyes in the back of your head.  Jamie Bulger was enough for me, I used a wrist strap in busy places for years.  In one episode at Heathrow I was so glad I did and it made it very worthwhile.

But for the older ones, they still need reminding of the rules and regularly.  Time and time again I hear myself saying to Cog "walk the long way, don't go down the alleys", "don't walk up that lane unless there is more than 2 of you", "don't come home across the fields", "Don't go near the edge of the platform", "Don't get in a car if the driver has been drinking no matter how rude you think it looks"

Isn't it the same for the 7-11s? "don't go to the park alone", "leave together", "do not go into any houses, even a friends house, without first asking for my permission, not even to go to the toilet", "don't change your plans without telling me", "wear a watch", "be home by .....".....it's no use just sending them out on a "remember stranger danger" call. 

I think if someone is really determined to abduct then they are probably going to succeed in the end.  Luckily, those people are few and far between. But the likes of Roy Whiting do exist.

It's a fine line, not wrapping your kids in cotton wool and not throwing them to the wolves.

And as they grow older it gets harder not easier.

My final words to Cog this evening on the subject were "take care not to get abducted, at your age you'll end up chained to a radiator in Romania having a miserable time being abused until you die"

So much for not scaring the nellies off her!  Still, she might think before going to help someone look for their dog in the park.....

......and yes that was irony, when is a person with a lost dog genuine?

I said to Cog "what would you do if a bloke asked you to help look for his dog?" and we both looked at each other and we both knew we would probably help. If I was out over the fields and someone asked me for help, but it lead me away from my path, would I? 

It's a hard call isn't it.