It has to look like an accident

I may not have mentioned that I'm having a pretty torrid time of life at the moment.

I have changed jobs, it's a bit of a stress and to be quite frank at the moment I think I have made a bad decision.

COG is about to change schools, she will not be attending the same school as most of her friends and the one she has chosen is possibly not as good as theirs. To be quite frank I think we may have made a bad decision.

I seen to have spend quite a lot of time recently bag packing, raffling, sourcing, making, selling and generally working my butt off for fundraising a project in which I now have no personal vested interest.  I feel thoroughly taken for granted and to be quite  frank I think the day I said yes was a bad decision.

My marriage appears to be suffering under the stress of all the stress. 

And the Goldfish died today.

Sometimes things seem to get a bit difficult.

I got a letter last week saying the little girl I sponsor is missing in a flood.  It makes me feel bad that i feel so bad but I know that if all the world's problems were thrown onto a pile I would quickly grab my own back.  I know my troubles are probably very few. 

But sometimes it's not the size of them that make them so difficult to manage, it's the constant grinding down from each little thing.  It's the daily happy interactions that are important, they are the things that keep us going and carry us through the crappy bits and pieces.  Mine are missing and that's what my life is missing.

I often seem to stumble from failure to bad decision, tripping over a little pile of regret here and there.  But I can usually look around and know that my Valley of Vung is ok.  It's not anymore.

Do you ever feel trapped? Trapped by life, by schooling, by .......

I need a break from life, from family, from everything, just for a bit.  I have a month of on-call to get through then I'm off.  Somewhere.

Totally unrelated, this really tickles me.  Maybe all is not lost.