I picked it up by it's self service throat...

It had been a difficult day from the outset, I was over stretched, out of time and out of patience.

My EX-husband rang to tell me he was ill and would I mind fetching him a can of soup from the shops and take it round to him.  I will point out, I once rang him from a coach trip to the theatre to ask him to pop round to my house to make sure I had turned the oven off.  The street of kindness flows two ways, so I poddled to the supermarket.

A woman can't just buy a can of soup.  Things are on special, shiny lights flash and bargain signs tempt.  So I have a basket full of goodies I didn't need.  The supermarket had forgotten (again) to do the important stuff like employ staff so I went self service.

oh the humanity...

beep, no scan, beep, assistance required...
"there's no one here"
beep, no scan, beep, place item in bagging area, assistance required
"There's no bugger here, I said"
"BEEP, BAGGAGE AREA,BEEP"
"Oh for F.., just scan will you, oh for.., arrrrrrgh"
"BEEP, place item in..."
"SHUT UP"
"BEEP BEEP BEEP"
"I SAID SHUT UP"  and I gave it the electronic throttling it deserved

As it sanctimoniously thanked me for my custom I told to it to piss off...

...at which point I returned to the sane world and realised I was still in Guiders uniform and daughter was still stood at my side.

Well, if we were all perfect the world would be a boring place and the other shoppers would have nobody to tut and shake their heads at, I bet they went home feeling rather superior.  My usual public service achieved yet again!