He'venin H'officer

I was driving through a nearby village after dark.  Each Victorian driveless terrace owns 2 range rovers (and a huge dog), so cars from both directions weave through the parked cars to get from one end of the road to the other.

One car was taking an age to come through.  It was quite frankly 'bumbling' along. This is not good when you have had a frustrating day and just want to get home and fast. As he came to pass me he edged through like he was driving a bus. I wound down my window and politely said: "You'd get a bloody tank through there".

He wound down he window and at that very moment I simultaneously noticed the fluorescent stripes, the uniform and the dead give away 'POLICE' across the car. He looked at me, I looked at him. Time stood still.

Only one way to go: I winked and said "He'venin H'off-i-cer"

I am so pleased that we live in a land where our bobbies are still trained to be 'people persons' and deal with things with the contempt common sense they deserve.  He gave me a 'watch it' look back and continued to drive (like a bumbling idiot) away.

Had I been in Australia I would still be being given infringement notices as he poured over my car for the 5th time checking the tyre tread.  I guess in America I would just be taking my cuffed hands off the bonnet and looking forward to meeting my new cell mates.
 
Simply for my amusement here is another Police car in a spot of bother: