I'm dreaming of a light Christmas

It is 63 days until I see my M-I-L again.  It's 2½ years since I last saw her.

Today I started my diet.

My mother-in-law lives in Australia and generally gives me a fairly difficult time of things when she sees me.  Bless her, she tried to be nice, she's tried hard, but her true colours tend to show on through when she lets her guard down.

When she has stayed at our house (in the UK) she stays out of my way, to the point of shutting herself in her room unless HWMBO is in the house.

She forbade HWMBO to marry me, in front of me...that was a fun night...not.

She uses comments like "What's she saying, I can't understand a word she says" in front of me, in reference to my foreign accent.  Bear in mind I am fairly BBC English and M-I-L is Australian.  It's not like I'm a Geordie!

She has called my daughter "that child" on numerous occasions.  A term I find particularly offensive.

She once brought a photo album for HWMBO that she had put together of his childhood days, family, growing up etc.  It was a lovely thought until we got to the end pages.  Photos of our wedding maybe?  Nope! Photos of him and ex-girlfriends to which she referenced one as "now she was a nice girl". 

I have endured many conversations around girls that HWMBO should have married. From what I can tell that would be anybody except me!!!!

She also watches my weight like a hawk!  I thought I was over it.  But clearly I am not. I am not overweight by any stretch of the imagination but I am 12lbs heavier than when I last saw her.  I am a lot fitter now and carrying a lot of extra muscle so maybe this is a matter of inches over numbers but all the same I would be more confident if I had a few of the numbers behind me.  This worries me as well because for many years we have failed to conceive and I know that low weight can be as harmful as high weight.

But when I walk through the door she will look me up and down and comment on my size and I have to be ready (and Beckham-like) to deal with it.

Why does so much emotion have to be tied up in weight?

So today the diet started.  Nothing drastic just stopping eating so much chocolate every night.  No more golden syrup on my popcorn, actually, probably no more popcorn.....sigh.  And once it's off, will it stay off in the lead up to Christmas?  Christmas in a hot country is wrong, swimsuits and Christmas pudding do not mix and I like Christmas pudding!

and HWMBO?  ...he says I was big(ger) when he met me.  He loved me then and loves me now but it doesn't really matter what he says, this isn't about him.

Blimey,  I fancy a piece of Green and Blacks....