"Muuuuuum, Katie's mum is going to buy her something really cool if she gets 5a in her SATs"
"good for Katie!"
"and Izzy's mum is getting her Mario if she has a good parents evening"
"well let's hope she's been good then"
"what do I get if I do well?"
Frowns from daughter
"what should you be in your SATS?"
"good, ok...if you get a 7 I'll buy you a.....horse"
(I am silently hoping she hasn't suddenly turned into a genius with the guilt trip of knowing a good parent wouldn't hope that!!!!) ...
"If you get a 6 you get one of these...." ruffles daughter hair hard with both hands and says ~ "well done"
If you get a 5 you get one of these...." ruffles daughters hair hard with one hand and says ~
If you get a 4 you get one of these..." clips daughter on ear!!!!
"hmmmmm..maybe you should study to be sure that you get a good ruffle then"
Now this was a conversation had in good humour and I have never rewarded her materially for anything achieved at school or with music grades. I feel it's a rod for my own back that will grow and grow, and that she must learn to have satisfaction at a job well done as self reward and not always be looking externally for approval. Generally this is what she seems to do, but given the number of her friends that are being rewarded materially now, I am starting to wonder if I should bend a little?